Which would be more unforgivable - long term emotional affair or ONS?

[Honeybooboo123]

Having a debate with a friend after discovering that a mutual friend has found her husband spending months messaging and sexting with a woman who lives thousands of miles away. They never met apparently.

The question is, is it cheating? And is it worse or better than someone having a short term physical thing?

I think if they have never met, then it's not really cheating, but friend thinks its worse.

I wonder though, if the online thing wasn't that they were ever going to leave their spouses, is it as bad?

Friend's husband swears he was never going to leave his wife for this woman - it was just a fling. A bit of fun.

I know I'd think a physical ONS would feel worse to me I think, but I don't know why

Friend's husband "swears" that, yes, but if the other party had suggested meeting up or taking things further, it might have been different.

People who are genuinely settled and committed don't have a second love life, online or otherwise.

It’s like asking which is better, a punch in the face or a kick in the stomach. A loving partner would never do either.