Are there feelings here?

[monopolyfiend]

I’ve just registered on my to ask your opinions and advice please . I have read these threads for a long time now and appreciated your advice on a range of topics but today I need some perspective please . I am
Married with youngish children. Happy mostly. I am very close friends with a man who is considerably younger than me . I am his confidante , not him
Mine so much . We get on excellently , the usual close friendship behaviours .. seeking eachother out, laughing, crying, chatting etc, loads of messaging about everything . Here’s the thing though, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s more? I can’t even explain why I think that . Maybe more intensity , compliments, glancing, eye contact etc. I know I sound ridiculous but there just something ? Call it chemistry.. I’m not sure? Any ideas on how you differentiate between platonic friendship or more , any ideas about when it crosses the line? I’ll need to address this if lines are being crossed .

OK. So given your updates since my post, I think you need to take a step back from the friendship. Maybe message less, be a bit less involved etc.

I always used to call my partner “mate”. One of the first things he said to me after we got together was “can you stop calling me mate now?” “I’m not delivering your parcels”.

It sounds like you enjoy his friendship and why shouldn't you. Like PP have said, keep dropping in the comments about your hubby and how everything is good. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't have feelings for you. It could be that he is focusing on you atm because you are available and receptitve in the nicest possible way, nothing in it etc.
Don't spoil things by questioning him. IF he crosses a line then set him straight but not until. Relax.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I think I'm the other OP you referred to based on my recent thread Fair enough too. I'm still glad I posted as was able to nip in the bud my imagination running away with me.

Back to this OP though - please learn from my own painful experience and run like the wind. Your friendship does sound uncannily like the one I'm currently working to run away from before I get burnt again.
It's not worth it. It sounds like you're dancing right on the edge of what's acceptable given you have an H. Even if you didn't, it's one of those situations that - without clarity - you can lose so much of yourself in over a long period of time. Especially as your friend is giving you something your H isn't.

Also someone re-posted this recently and I really found it useful.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3168787-How-to-avoid-an-emotional-affair

Orangesandpears, you're a class act!

I'm always very earnestly trying to give people the benefit of my own cringey mistakes. It's mortifying, isn't it?

Onwards and upwards to you - and the OP. :)

I don’t see why a friendship would have to end if one party asks the other how they feel. Unless you mean he tells you yes he’s in love with you, then you’d have to walk away.
But if that’s how he feeels you need to walk away, so ask him.