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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New bf hygiene

31 replies

Mumao · 07/12/2018 10:07

So, in the early stages with new bf. he’s great, sweet, can’t do enough for me BUT is hygiene is questionable.

It’s bothering me and putting me off him. What do I do?

OP posts:
Coldshoulders · 07/12/2018 10:10

What exactly about his hygiene is questionable? Is it his hygiene?

OrigamiZoo · 07/12/2018 10:12

Feet, groin, pits, which? or all?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/12/2018 10:14

If his hygiene is not great in the early stages of the relationship, it's only going to get worse...

Wordthe · 07/12/2018 10:24

This is him on his best behaviour....

Musti · 07/12/2018 10:24

I couldn't deal with that.

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2018 10:25

Deal breaker for me!

Sorry if that’s shallow but poor hygiene is a massive turn off.

TooTrueToBeGood · 07/12/2018 10:27

We generally present our best front in the early stages of a relationship as that's when we're trying hardest to impress. If he's a minger now he's unlikely to improve over time, more likely he will ripen like a camembert.

HRTpatch · 07/12/2018 10:28

No excuse for poor hygiene.
Ditch him.

Snowwontbelong · 07/12/2018 10:29

If you sleep over /him at yours suggest a quick shower each before bed.
Couldn't be sexually attracted to a pongy partner!!

Closetbeanmuncher · 07/12/2018 10:36

That would be an absolute deal breaker for me I'm afraid....Yuck

BlancheM · 07/12/2018 10:42

Dump

beenandgoneandbackagain · 07/12/2018 10:51

Sorry, it would be a deal breaker for me. And this is supposed to be him doing his very best to show what an ideal partner he is.

The shower before bed doesn't work either on someone who has long term issues with hygiene. It takes more than 5 minutes of soap to get that clean. Boak.

LellyMcKelly · 07/12/2018 10:52

Oh no. I couldn’t be doing with that. You’ve just started dating. He should be smelling of lemons and basil and heather, not sweaty feet and cheese.

VictoryOrValhalla · 07/12/2018 10:54

Deal breaker for me too. Like others say, this is his A game. It doesn’t get better than this.

MattBerrysHair · 07/12/2018 10:55

Oh this doesn't bode well....... As pp's have said, at the beginning of a relationship everyone makes extra sure that they are as clean and fresh as can be. This is him at his very very cleanest and it is likely to get worse once the honeymoon period is over.

Bluemascara4 · 07/12/2018 10:56

Dump him

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 07/12/2018 10:59

A man who wants to win you over will go to the trouble of making himself as attractive as possible. If this guy's stinky now he's unlikely to improve.

Unless - and this is possible - you're both very young and he had a terrible upbringing where no one taught him to wash and clean his teeth. Then maybe... Maybe... If this is the case he may listen to tactful but clear suggestions.

But a grown man and stinky? Forget it.

DH used to try not to fart loudly in the loo when we first got together because he didn't want to gross me out (our bedhead backed onto the bathroom wall). That's a man keen to make a good impression.

Wordthe · 07/12/2018 11:08

You'll have to give us more info if you want us to help you sort this one out OP🙂

Ifailed · 07/12/2018 11:11

'poor hygiene' to some people is not having 3 showers a day. You need to be more specific.

Badbadbunny · 07/12/2018 11:14

You need to tell him. Sooner he gets the message the better. If he wants to snog you, then tell him to brush his teeth first. If he wants sex/oral, tell him he needs to shower. If he doesn't like being told, then tough, stand your ground. I had this with a boyfriend who'd simply not been brought up with good personal hygiene - he learned pretty damn quick that if he wanted "benefits", then he had to be clean and fresh. Never had to tell him more than once! If your bf takes offence, then just dump him, he won't get any better without being told and I've found hints never work - just be honest and direct. It'll either work or it won't and either way you won't have to be intimate with a minger.

pissedonatrain · 07/12/2018 11:24

Get rid. They never change.

Cawfee · 07/12/2018 11:34

Yukk!

theworldistoosmall · 07/12/2018 11:52

tell us more

InsomniacAnonymous · 07/12/2018 14:43

Coldshoulders "What exactly about his hygiene is questionable? Is it his hygiene?"

Huh? Confused

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 07/12/2018 14:46

Uuurgh. Couldn’t be doing with that.

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