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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to move on?

4 replies

Layza101 · 06/12/2018 13:53

I usually read posts and a few have helped; however, I thought if I tell my story I might get some advice.
Me and my ex split up about 8 months ago, we have 2 boys so contact will always be there.
I still love him and he does me (I think), but he's said in the past not as much. We've still been sleeping together, which I know is wrong as I always feel crap after it. He dated someone for a few months and I was heartbroken, as he asked me that he possibly wanted to introduce the children to her after christmas. After a few weeks of that conversation I sent him a long message of how I accept he's moved on and I hope he's happy. In a way I felt I got closure.
Fast forward a month after that, and he is no longer with her, as she didn't want to commit.
So now I feel I'm right back to square one, we've started sleeping together again and sometimes he comes round to see the kids and maybe have tea.
I always feel like he'll regret it one day (maybe I'm just making myself feel better). We were together 15 years and he was my first of everything, so even now the thought of dating is so scary.
I say to him, if you don't want to be with me and you don't love me as much as I do you, then why would you continue to do this. I feel I'm the easy option to him (he says that's not true).
We're still friends as we broke up due to being unhappy.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and if so how the hell do you move on. I'd love to cut all contact, but it's hard when you have kids.

OP posts:
RyderWhiteSwan · 06/12/2018 14:07

Stop being his fallback shag for a start. Set boundaries about him seeing the DC, he shouldn't be in your home at all. Hand them over and he can take them out. He's having his cake and eating it, isn't he? He gets a new GF - it goes tits up, so you wet his dick for him.

Layza101 · 06/12/2018 14:13

You are right, I am being used, I'm being a knob and falling for it everytime.
I think what you said about boundaries is good, i will do that. Smile

OP posts:
Travisandthemonkey · 06/12/2018 15:08

he's using you
Does that not make you feel angry

hellsbellsmelons · 06/12/2018 15:48

He will never understand the 'loss of you' if he hasn't lost you.
He knows he can click his fingers and you will jump!
Please stop it.
It's soul destroying.
You are damaging yourself only.
He's got it all sorted hasn't he?
Lives the single life but if he can't get a shag, good old Layza will do it!
Yeuk!
You need some self-respect and you absolutely need to set some boundaries.
Hand overs at the door. He doesn't get his creature comforts anymore.
Stop having sex with him. PLEASE!!!!
Change is scary but it's also very liberating.
He's a user.
Why did you split up?

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