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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex is still living here's and taking the piss

30 replies

BeyondVicious · 06/12/2018 13:38

And yeah he's probably gonna read this but

We finally split back in July, after knowing it was heading that way for a while. As he had to find work (was my carer) we knew he wouldn't be moving straight away, but saving up, getting a deposit and leaving ASAP.

So it is now December, he has been taken on from his temp role to permanent, and he still (despite minimal contribution to bills) has not got a deposit saved. In this time he has also received student loan and money from his mum, so god knows where he's spending it all. Made reference the other day to it being "after Xmas" at the earliest and my patience snapped. Cue him going all F4J and whining that I get the house when I do nothing and he should have the kids all of the time Hmm

Thing is, due to my health he will be having the children 50% of the time, so it is not beneficial for me (tempting as it is at times...) to just kick him out as he wouldn't be able to do that from a hostel, and he has nowhere else (one brother nearby and STBXH says he'd choose the streets over living with him) to go.

So what TF do I do? :(

OP posts:
BeyondVicious · 07/12/2018 11:13

Yes we are still married - I guess sorting the divorce out ASAP may be the quickest way to sort this!

OP posts:
MrDonut · 07/12/2018 11:16

I think so. He's probably still holding out that you will somehow change your mind. If I were you, I'd get the divorce sorted and as part of that get clarification on where he's going to live and custody arrangements for the kids.

BeyondVicious · 07/12/2018 14:21

Okay, I'm on it... now to write that fun list of unreasonable behaviour... Wink

I don't think he's waiting for me to change my mind though - he has met someone and seems happy with her, and seems happy that I have met someone too. But yes I can definitely see the appeal of living for (almost) free, even if it means you can't get laid quite so frequently!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 07/12/2018 14:55

When mine was slow to move, after a while I changed my tactic from avoiding him as much as possible, to being there in front of him the whole time, looking over his shoulder, sitting up close on the settee, waking him up in the night to chat...

MrDonut · 08/12/2018 11:54

I don't think he's waiting for me to change my mind though - he has met someone and seems happy with her

And his new GF is fine with him living with his Ex? Shock

This is just shocking.

I hope you can get it all sorted with as little stress as possible.

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