I don't want him to move on

[onemoresmartie]

Me and my ex have been split up for about 5 weeks, there is no going back this time but I am really struggling with the thought of him moving on which I know he will if he hadn't already.
Last time this happened he was with someone else as was I and we got back together but I can't go back again
How do you deal with them moving on?

Write a list of all the shitty things this guy has done to you, stick it on the fridge and read it every time you think of him fondly.

This guy is an utter horror. He used and exploited you time and again. You should feel pity for any woman he gets with.

Didn't you have a date set up? How did that go?

It went well and I'm glad I went but I'm not sure where it went wrong because I didn't hear from him again....I miss my ex (there were a few nice parts)

I just know that when I learn he is with someone new it will kill me and set me back. I wish I could pity whoever he gets with.

I can't put it on my fridge as my ds is 8 and will read it lol but I have it in my notebook.

I keep debating reaching out to him, he has sent me a few messages and has tried calling me a few times but I know it will set me back

From a slightly different perspective, I have been seeing a guy for the past 6 weeks - he is lovely and we were taking it slow but it was going well. His wife (separated) suddenly then decided she would like to try and give things another go. They have 3 young children together so he felt it the right thing to do (I understand that he must still have feelings for her to do so too) but her saying this out of the blue seemed to coincide with her finding out he was seeing someone else.

My fault for getting involved with someone who had only been separated a few months but I had no reason to believe their marriage was anything but over completely.

I guess my point is that seeing your ex with someone else or knowing they are with someone else is going to hurt but that in itself doesn't mean you should be together and maybe until you have moved on from the end of your relationship with each other, you shouldn't be dating as other people then get messed around.

My husband (separated) had an affair so unfortunately I have had to deal with that from the start (or before as the case was) and it really hurts so I understand how you feel but you both need to be able to move on if you're not right for each other.

Yeah I see where your coming from and I am prepared to be flamed but I don't want him but I don't want him to move on and be happy either

I know this is awful but it's honestly how I feel. He doesn't deserve to be happy after what he's put me through

Oh no, I get that completely!

We can only control our own happiness though, not someone else's. Chances are he isn't as happy as he makes out anyway.

You're putting too much energy into his life, rather than yours OP. You've said it yourself - you don't want him. So what he does now isn't any of your concern. And wishing for other people to be unhappy is not, I'm sure, a character trait that you'd aspire to.

Rather than spending your time fretting about what he's doing, why not invest that time productively? What would make you feel great about yourself? Work out. Get a hobby. Go out with friends. Just focus on making your life amazing - and leave him to do the same with his own.

Do you have to know? Will you have to see him with anyone else? Cut all ties on social media. There will be a day when you won't care but you just can't imagine it yet.

Agree entirely with what everyone else on the thread is saying - and in any case, people like him are never happy, so it's not worth bothering with.