DSis has a son with SN diagnosis. She has had moments of crisis in her marriage and will confide in me from time to time. When I or the family suggest things to help (focussing on her DH and improving his relationship with the kids and his attitude to her), she nods in agreement but rarely if ever take those ideas further. I don't physically see her often so was shocked when we met recently to find her at the centre of a manic family, totally calm, as if everything were normal. We were talking again this week and again she says everything is fine - the school's been in contact about her son's behaviour, but they've 'got it all wrong' or 'refuse to believe the diagnosis'. With respect to marriage, she says 'oh, it's been good this week because he took out the trash', or similar.
I am no psychologist but something doesn't feel right. It's like she looks bulldozed by life, dazed by it all. Then denies there is a problem. Can people gaslight themselves? Am I even making sense?