Sons dad just doesn't care..... I feel so sad

[babyblue32]

I feel so fed up and frustrated with myself.
I'm such an idiot for even thinking things would change.

Backstory - son is 5months. Hasn't met his dad
Wasn't there throughout pregnancy haven't seen him in over a year. (Didn't want the baby- but swore he be there) Has been messaging me telling me he'll see his child.

And as usual I'm let down because he's now started to completely ignore me and leave me on read. I cannot stand it. It makes me feel crazy. I've txt and txt because I can't not.
He's fed me such lies and false hope.
I've held on hoping that it'll all come true. Instead he's just fucked me up that little bit more

I did no contact and it worked... but he cane back in and I let him.

I ended up sending a message saying I'm done and I'm fed up and sick of it all and if he wants to be a dad he'll turn up blah blah
And he's left me on read.

I just need a hand hold. He swore he'll meet him by Xmas and when he doesn't o have to cut all ties. It sends me into a tears I can't let my kid grow up watching or feeling like that when he's deadbeat dad can't be bothered.

I don't want to message him so I've done this to vent and keep my thumbs busy and so little one doesn't pick up on my stress

You are worth so much more than waiting for this git to pull his finger out.

Honestly your child is better off not knowing him as a dad if he can even be bothered (trust me i would have rather had a missing dad than a sometimes dad that did not care)

Make sure he is on the hook to financially support the baby.

Serously, there are worse things than not having your dad in your life because he doesnt care about you. Having the dad who doesnt care about you dip in and out of your life is one. Having your mum constantly upset with your absent useless father is another.

Do yourself and your ds a HUGE favour - get this guy out of your life and, should he ever come sniffing round wanting to know his son (when he gets a new girlfriend he wants to impress fi) tell him to apply for access through the courts.

Oh my god, is he on the birth certificate? If not, literally erase him from you and your child’s life. He ain’t shit. You don’t need him and neither does your son. Any man can make a baby, if he’s not interested don’t force it. Even if he does have a relationship with his son, what’s stopping him from walking out on him later down the line?

Move on without him .He will only cause you and his son pain

Don't try and force this. It will only bring you down. Concentrate on raising your precious wee baby to be a fantastic human being, despite his useless father. That's the best distraction for you both - to live a happy, fulfilled life, knowing you achieved it for you both.

If he comes looking for a relationship with his son, fine, that's s bonus. But don't set your heart on it. You know it's his loss, and one day, he'll know it too

It will be better your ds and yourself won’t have to deal with constant let downs . My ds is 5 and never met his “dad” . He’s a very happy boy and hasn’t even questioned where his dad is . Don’t msg him , he’s not worth your time .

You can do this by yourself. You have so much love for your little boy he will never need this man in his life.

If he was in your life he would probably make it a misery. He would probably mess your little one around and confuse him. This is better.

You can now concentrate on your beautiful baby boy, have fun together knowing his father [in name only] is not going to screw your heads up. You are free. Bless your baby boy, he has a mother who loves him so much.

Do you have another adult who can support you both consistently? An aunt, a brother or sister, your mum, dad, uncle, friend...a significant adult can really make a difference and provide security, fun, guidance for the little boy and add to your lives. Good luck.

I agree with everyone else. Someone so unreliable who might dip in and out of your sons life randomly is worse than not having a dad around at all. My kids dad was out of their lives by the time they were two (he was an absolute psycho that tried to kill me so it had to be that way). They’re adults now and really don’t care. My DD heard her dad was in prison (he locked his then partner in their home and assaulted her repeatedly) and she thought about writing to him and then decided she didn’t want to. I think it was curiousity but she thought better of it. That was a couple of years back. My son just doesn’t want to know full stop. They don’t feel they’ve “missed out” particularly as they have had a happy life with just the three of us. We’re still very close now. Whereas my DD’s partner has two married parents who he barely see’s! Let this guy go and just focus on your son.

Sorry just popped back to tell you something someone told me on here once that really helped.
Don’t expect everyone to have the same standards as you. You are a decent, loving person you can’t expect him to be.

I don’t understand why you are chasing him. At 5 months your child will know no difference, he will be brought up with his mothers love which may not have been what you had hoped for but the reality is he’s not interested. Ask yourself what’s better for you and your child a loving mother only or a fathers thats not interested and only shows interest as and when because you have chased him to?