Describe your relationship 7 years in...

[sparkla]

So DH and I have been together 7 years, married just over 1 year and have two dds. We're in our 30s.

I told my friends on a girls night out that "dh is my cosy blanket" in that he's comfortable, our relationship is comfortable. It didn't go down well.

It's definitely not all starry eyed nor sex-driven. But it's, well, safe, secure, familiar, comfortable. Is that boring? Should it be sparkier?

I'd describe being with my DH (just married this year, together 3 and a half years) as 'coming home'. You know that relaxed ahh feeling you get...Id rather have that than sparkly

Why didn't it go down well? been with DH 16 years and actually "cosy blanket" is a good one, what's better than a cosy blanket?!

Never got to 7 years with a partner 😂 First one was an abusive drunk and ended at 6 years of torture.... second was a bully mentally and he lasted 6 years too.... currently with DP of 5 & 1/2 years and it's wonderful. He's my safety..... my happy place.... I don't worry or fret when I'm with him. He's my forever 'home'..... I'm certain we will last many more years till we are old and grey ☺️☺️☺️

I’ve been with my DP for the same amount of time and we have our first baby on the way. I would agree he’s my cosy blanket but he’s also my best friend & rock... I just happen to think he’s still bloody fit!

I was in an abusive relationship before him in my late teens for just over a year & had my complete personality sucked out of me. No confidence (luckily had my friends and family for surport) but I just didn’t like myself anymore exbf just destroyed me, mentally and emotionally. DP completely built me up to the point where I went back to college, gained an Apprenticeship & have a good job atm. I learnt how to drive, we bought a house together & learnt to like myself again. I changed my opinion on having children (hence we finally have one on the way) I’ll never forgot that even if things didn’t work out (I doubt it but you never know) so I’ll always be grateful to him on that & as you can imagine I do adore him.

That’s not to say he can’t be a pain in my arse or that he’s perfect because he isn’t! He's 30 next month & I’m 26.

At year 7 we had a 3 year old running circles around us and he was trying to persuade me that another child would be a marvellous idea he was right, she is marvellous

I don't think I would even have called him a cosy blanket at that point, pain in the arse might have been more apt! However he is my other half and he's always made me feel safe and loved. I hope that's his enduring feeling about me too.

Sparks are all well and good, but it doesn't always equal a healthy relationship, sometimes it's just papering over the cracks by claiming undying passion and excitement not always of course.

Your relationship sounds built to last to me. I know so many who have broken up because they married believing a 'spark' would carry them through years of marriage. I honestly wouldn't even listen to them, alot of people are seriously full of crap and you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

You seem very happy in your relationship, don't doubt yourself.

We've been married 8 have had 3 kids in that time and we are very happy but in a very settled way. I'd be cool with cosy blanket. As our youngest is now 3 we are getting a bit of a social life back and it is lovely doing things that are not just housework childcare and DIY together.

He is still sexy

7 years in we were getting married - we were still very young, 25 and 27. But we had a mortgage and we were definitely in the cosy stage by then!

We're now on year 21 and yes, it's like coming home still.

We have been together just over 10 years and married for 7 with 2 dc. I would say yes, it’s comfortable, but I think for some people comfortable sounds like “fine enough to not want to split up.” That probably wasn’t quite what you meant maybe? I would say our relationship is still fun, we have a lot of laughs, have been through a lot of stressful shit, but I still think my dh is sexy and am still very enamoured with him. But I think where you are in terms of dc makes a big difference too. We have a 5 year old and a baby both of whom are pretty easy. We also don’t have a lot of career stress anymore. If we had two dc who were closer in age or more full on, we might not have quite as much time for each other and our relationship probably wouldn’t be as solid.