Ultimatum - but how can I leave?

[Feb18]

(I'm sorry if this is fragmented. I've tried to keep it short but keep relevant info)

Firstly, I know that we are to blame for having a baby too early into our relationship (unplanned), before we knew each other properly, and although I love our DD I deeply regret this situation we're in.
DP no longer wants to be with me but is trapped in the relationship because of DD. He hasn't explicitly said this but alluded to it, and his attitude towards me is often not nice. I'm miserable tbh - I want the relationship to work but obviously I can't force him to love me.
I've given him an ultimatum which is basically be nicer to me or I leave (taking DD with me). I feel so pathetic begging my DP to be nice to me. It's a conversation I have with him almost weekly but he doesn't grasp that his attitude towards me is mean, he says its banter (hate that word!) and then calls me a baby or gets annoyed that I'm initiating an argument.
I'm so unbelievably unhappy in this relationship which I would have ended if it wasn't for DD.
But how can I leave? She is only 10 weeks old and he adores her. If I left I would move to my family home which is a 3hr drive away. He works very long hours (70+/week - which contributes to his foul mood) and sleeps through most of his days off, so even if I drove every weekend for him to see her he would likely be asleep. I never ever want to disconnect DD with her father - do I just suck it up and leave him but still stay close ie within the city? I live in a very expensive part of England and would not be able to afford the rent without him. Plus we are contractually tied into our house until 2020. But I feel like I would need the support of my family who are 3 hours away.
So my options are:

1. Continue this sham relationship for the sake of DD and his relationship with her.
2. Leave DP but stay local by utilising benefits (which I've not looked into yet but I doubt would cover enough for rent here). I would also be expected to pay the rent on our current house until 2020.
3. Leave DP and move to my family 3 hours away where I would not (initially...) have to pay rent, and also benefit from their support system. However DD would rarely see her dad, which breaks my heart.

I really hate all of these options and I'm devastated it has come to this but I know it's our own fault. What would you do?

3

Can’t he cut down on his hours?
Would he agree to relationship counselling?

number 3

Thank you all for your replies, in a way I'm relieved that number 3 is the most popular option, although I feel selfish for taking DD away. But as posters have said, due to his hours it wouldn't make much difference anyway and this way he'd probably be a more involved father as he'd be forced to get involved in activities etc.
For those that suggested relationship counselling I guess no harm in asking him but I know he'll say no. What's the point if he doesn't actually love me.
We have had a fairly nice day today and no nastiness or arguments. He's actually tidied up after himself too so I think some of what ive said has sunk in although unfortunately the more trivial part. Sadly I think he thinks loading the dishwasher is being nice.
I will plan to spend Xmas with my family as he'll be working anyway, and then we'll go from there.
Thank you all, I was nervous to hear what I knew!

In what way are you both tied to the house?

Could you both move to the cheaper area near your family where you have family support and he can afford to work less so have a better relationship with DD.

Not together, by the way.

Of course not very practical if he has literally no ties to the area and lots of ties to current area but worth a shot as 3 hours is a long way....I can see the dilemma