Husband wants to leave

[Stanley11]

Gosh. My husband wants to leave me! I lost my job earlier on in the year, and he resents me because of the added pressure on him. He keeps me financially dependent on him, and says things like"see how you cope when I go" . I lost my job under horrible circumstances and he didn't want to know. He said he can't cope with extra stress. So I have had no one to talk to. This has made me cold towards him, and I think that's why he wants to go. I've had a very stressful year, and I don't think I could cope with this final nail in the coffin. Financially I have nothing. He made me sell my car. He has a company car(merc) and I drive his other car. He says I won't be able to have this if we split up. He wants to see me suffer I think, he is very controlling. What can I do?

He's not sounding great is he. Do you have children together?

Yes we do. ....

Let him leave. Get a solicitor. Call Women's Aid and/or Rights of Women for specialist advice on ending a relationship with an abusive man, specifically staying safe and your rights to a fair share of the marital assets.

Do you have children together? A joint mortgage?

Cross post. Definitely get a solicitor, but talk to WA and/or RoW first. You'll need a solicitor with experience in abuse.

Any chance of finding a new job? That would ease the financial burden on both of you.

The job (or lack thereof) is not the problem!

Manga are you Stanley?

I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with this right now. I think he knows this. Also I can't afford a solicitor. My main concern is that as soon as he goes I literally will not have penny.

Was that a nc fail?

He is being very horrible and using the loss of your job as power over you rather than supporting you to get another job.

Do you own a house together?

Namechange fail OP. No worries if you don't mind. He sounds really unkind.

Sorry I'm Manga. Had to change it.

If you have no income you'll need to claim benefits. How old are your children?

He will find that he will be responsible for putting a roof over his kids’ heads, paying maintenance etc.

You will have a penny! Go to CAB ASAP and find out what you would get, from him and in benefits.

He is just trying to control and intimidate you.

He is a mean person. I feel stupid being with someone like this. I'm not a weak person, just want a stable life for the kids. We have a mortgage etc..

I have found a new job. However the pay is very low. My training is really specialised, and to get a decent wage I would have to put the kids in clubs every day. This would upset me so much, specially if they are coping with me and their dad separating.

You may be entitled to legal aid so you would get a legal aid solicitor and wouldn't have to pay. Ask women's aid and/or Rights of Women about it.

And as PPs have said you'd be entitled to benefits and child maintenance.

Are you claiming contributory JSA at the moment? If not you should claim, and get it paid into your own bank account (not a joint one).

Oh I missed your last post sorry. No JSA then. If you left him you would still be able to claim benefits to top up your wages, as well as child maintenance.

Call Womens aid
They will direct you to your local service
There may be a wait for local service to call you back
When they do, they may offer you a free half hour slot with their solicitors. Who can determine if you will get Legal aid or have to pay to continue with them but it’s a start