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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will he come back?

4 replies

Anxiouslywaitingfor · 02/12/2018 12:33

We’ve been friends for about 7 years, finally got together 3 years ago and dated for 8 months or so. Then he got a job at the other end of the country and we split up. Ever since though he’s been coming back every few months or so and we sleep together. He asked me how I felt about things and I said that I was dating other guys and that I was ok with a FWB arrangement.

But secretly I want him back. The last time we slept together was a few months ago and I really thought that we were beginning to get back together. Then a few weeks later he rang me to say he didn’t want me to hear it from anyone else but that he had met someone who he wants to pursue a relationship with.

I’m absolutely devastated. I told him I felt sad because I still had feelings for him but I wished him the best. He hasn’t been in touch at all since and has disappeared from social media although we are still friends on Facebook so I think he must have stopped me from being able to see his status.

My heart tells me it’s not over and that in time he’ll get over this crush and realise I’m the one.

We were so good together. I’ve never experienced the kind of love we had and he said he felt the same. We did have problems though. My ex is a nutter and threatened to knock his lights out when he discovered we were an item. That really shook him up I think.

But we got past it and if only he hadn’t moved we’d still be together and he wouldn’t have met this other woman.

Will he come back?

OP posts:
Orange6904 · 02/12/2018 12:39

Sad situation to be in I feel for you Sad

Even if he does do you want to spend you life on hold waiting for him? What if he leaves for someone else further down the line?

category12 · 02/12/2018 12:45

If he'd felt the same way about you, he wouldn't have moved so far away or both of you would have considered options for moving together. But no, his choice was instead to move away and end it.

He's messing you about, keeping you hanging on and being a booty call when he comes back.

Take the hint. He's found someone else. He's muted or blocked you on social media. He left you behind. It's done.

LemonTT · 02/12/2018 12:54

Yes for FWB but not for a relationship. He left you as an active choice. The relationship and love you felt was not mutual.

His blocking you is an indication that he is serious about her. It’s what he should do in the circumstances.

Sorry this is harsh but you will not move on if you still hope after all this time. It was over 2 years ago that you split up. Time to move on. You are in effect holding yourself back from life.

Josuk · 02/12/2018 12:55

I have a friend like this. Only we are many years ahead of you...

Over the years - we came together, or our lives overlapped. We dated, came apart - life and circumstances.
It continued....

Here is my view on this. If we didn’t make it work when we were young and available - and life managed to pull us apart - we weren’t meant to be a couple....

We are friends first. And have a deep connection. And at times we are lovers too.

Maybe it’ll be different for you.

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