I've posted here a lot, under different names, under this one. I posted recently because my partner was yet again showing me no respect at all and he's gone and done it again.
He's clearly lying to me about his past relationships. Why I don't know, I would be happier hearing the truth from him but he will not tell me the truth. I think he wants to appear better than he thinks he is, but he's just appearing like he's a coward. I've said in the past I've not had many sexual relationships, it's basically been him and my ex. My ex raped me. So Im pretty insistent on being told the truth and not being hurt, obviously. I told him that I've not had like a fuck buddy relationship even though I've been offered them. He said he'd never had one either. Now I find out he has with his ex, before they officially got together. It's not the fact that he had it, I don't care about that it's the lying. I can't stand lying I hate it and he keeps doing it. I'm pretty sure he's lied about other girls he's slept with too, he lied to me several times at the beginning of our relationship about still being in contact with his ex.
He also likes to tell me how I feel. If he's pissing me off, I tell him to stop it because he's annoying me and he just goes 'no I'm not you're being stupid'. I don't like that, it's like he tries to control me. That doesn't help when I'm still getting over being raped. All he does is essentially brings it up and gives me flashbacks. He knows it happened, I told him.
He's physically hurt me in the past. Kind of accidentally, but he used to poke me all the fucking time and left bruises. I kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't. He eventually did when I showed him the bruises, but all it was up until then was 'you're being silly that doesn't hurt'. He still does that, we will be play fighting, he'll hurt me, I'll tell him and he's gloss over it.
He also used to smoke weed a lot. He pretends to me that he has never ever 'needed' it and it's just for fun. But I've seen messages to his ex begging her to come over with weed for him. The same night after I dropped him off at home after a date. Pretty sure he's never cheated, but with how often he's lied, how the fuck would i know?
I'm just done. I can't leave him right now due to circumstances outside of my control, but I'm applying for jobs away from this area and I think basically unless he tells me the entire truth, I can never ever trust him again and will be walking out if I ever get a job.
I'm not really looking for advice. I know other women are in the same or worse situations than me and I guess I just want to show they aren't alone. Maybe I'm crazy and shouldnt need to know everything about his past but so many lies have made it necessary now. I check his fb account every day now because I'm so paranoid that he's cheating or is texting his exes. I don't trust him and don't think I ever will now. I wish he had never lied as we used to be great together but now it's shit. My friends know as well and are trying to get me to leave him but the circumstances I'm in make that impossible. For now. It will get better eventually though I hope.
I just really needed to write it all down because I can barely talk to him about it. He wont apologise, he will get sulky, yell at me and eventually go in a huff and not talk to me, then in a few hours just act like nothing happened. He won't do counselling either.