I broke up with my BF of 4 years a couple of weeks ago. We'd been living together 18 months and I have one DC (not his). He wasn't a bad person but was very self absorbed - his work came first, he worked, slept and ate to his own schedule, no headspace to listen to me, unequal with money etc. So lots of reasons but no abuse or true nastiness, just apathy and while he and my DC got on, there was certainly no parent relationship and no family unit. He had no time to do things with us but I do believe he loved us.
It's been breaking down for months, he agreed to change but I knew he wouldn't really and I didn't have the confidence to even explain all the things that bothered me. So I left. His house'; so I've gone to my parent's while I sort a mortgage. My DC is completely unfussed - hasn't mentioned ex and is loving spending time with his grandparents and staying at dad's more.
I do not regret this decision and am looking forward to the future of being single with no tension, atmosphere, up-and-down etc. I've done everything by myself for months parenting, housekeeping, trips out everything so I don't even miss him.
But I feel guilty. He was very hurt I left. We had agreed to split but he tried to make it right and I left anyway so he is really cross. He changed the locks, being very obstructive about me getting my things, has sent some horrible messages etc. I have never seen him be this passionate about anything! I feel awful - I sacrificed much more than him to be together but he did move for me and did some really nice things and some big gestures. I come out of this a lot financially worse off (while I house kept so he could hoard his money) but he's accused me of fucking him over. It's so unfair but is this just him letting off steam/revenge? He seems convinced I'm some goldigging madam despite me never asking him fr anything and me giving him everything.
I've just read another thread about someone's bf leaving her because he wasn't in love with her anymore an there were so many posts calling him a cunt, a dick, a twat etc. But that's exactly what I've done...am I that? He wasn't that bad and is a complete catch on paper - what have I done?