I've posted previously under a couple of different names about my childhood/teenage sexual abuse by my father. He died earlier this year and I did not attend his funeral,
Can't fully remember what I have posted before without checking back, but the caatlyst for this for me was last Christmas/New Year when I had to look after my father whilst mother in hospital. During that time there was an incident where he tried to batter the door down and made threats. He was an old man in his 80's but it all came flooding back. Because of this I decided that I had to tell by brother and his wife about what had happend to me (my others brothers had previously been told). I didn't want to tell this brother as I knew he wouldn't react well.
Told brother, he was shocked but supportive etc. Then a few months later my mother told me that brother and his family were moving into the parents house as they needed help. This is when I flipped... I was so upset at brother, SIL and mother agreeing to do this and move his family with daughters into that house. My mother didn't think it was an issue, he was an old man, only had one eye, etc etc, I needed to forget about it! My brother said I was doing it to cause trouble
My father died in the summer. My mother and brother gave him a funeral fit for a king, to save face in the area where they live. This upset me a lot. Since then, my brother and his family have moved in with mother and she has come to an arrangement whereby my brother will live in her house and inherit it. I know that this is a contenious issue on MN, and I truly belive that no one has the right to inherit. However I am so upset that my mother has taken this decision to favour one of her children and dismiss the rest. My brother thinks that this is right btw.
My mother lived with a horrible abusive and controlling bastard, and after his death has taken/or been manipulated to take the decision to hand over control of her life to my brother and his wife.
I get on well with my other brothers and they have been supportive. However, was talking to my eldest brother today and he said that he had a couple of conversations with my mother and she ended them in tears saying she was upset that I didn't contact her (I have blocked her) and was confused as to why StillNumb had done this. My brother thought perhaps I owed her a phone call! I told him straight that's not going to happen and as far as I am concerned she knows exactly what's the issue.
The hiding the head in the sand of sexual abuse whilst I was a kid is hard to deal with, but I am so bloody upset that she has handed her house over to my brother. I never expected anything, you never know what's going to happen, if she needed to move, have care etc. It guts me that she knows I have suffered and has done this.
Apologies for going on, but wanted to get it off my chest. I know I am better off without them and have made the right decision. Just set a little off keel today my older brother. As I said, I told him it's not going to happen and he acknowledged that.