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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex and ds

1 reply

Worriedmum2468 · 01/12/2018 17:04

I had my son when I was 16, his father was also 16 and was my first and only boyfriend. He walked out of my life and demanded a dna test before he would see our son despite knowing that he was my first boyfriend. The dna test was done and of course it came back that he was the dad, However he still didnt step up and I kept trying to push for him to be a good dad. Over the years we did try to make it work but I eventually ended it because of DV and emotional abuse. Every time we ended so did the relationship with his son.

I went on to go to college and university and qualified as a teacher. I sent my son to grammar school and we have both been doing well. In this time he had another child. He refused to pay for our son and he told me if I went to the csa he would beat me up.
Eventually I got the courage and went to the csa, but he told the mother of his other child to also claim so my payments went down. (He admitted to this.)
He showed very little interest in our son whilst I raised him alone and worked full time. My son is now 15 and attends a grammar school, my ex doesn't agree with this and instead thinks he should be in a comprehensive school to make him “street wise.” As my son has got older he has had more of an interest in him, however that as only been the last year or so. My ex tells my son that if I ask him to do chores or tell him off that its child abuse. I seen some very disrespectful stuff in my sons phone where they are both saying im a bad parent, his dad is telling him I abuse him because I ask him to do chores.
So I called his dad to say he is staying there for a few days and his dad started shouting and threatening to kill me.

OP posts:
Worriedmum2468 · 01/12/2018 17:05

After my sons goes with his dad he tells me that im not allowed any access to him and says he will hurt me if I try. I contacted the police who arrested him for malicious communication. My son is now currently staying at his dads girlfriends house with him and her two children (so 5 of them in a 2 bed) whilst his dad sublets his council flat which he told my son to lie to me about.

I have checked the court papers I have and it says I have residence of my son until he is 18. I am worried he will apply for residency.
Im looking for some advice as I believe he is brainwashing and emotionally abusing him, during the phone called when he threatened me he also stated that he has been plotting against me and turning my son against me for years. He doesnt want to pay maintenance and I believe he is using my son for financial gain. My son doesnt seem to be able to see this and just seems happy to finally be getting some attention from his father.

Sorry for posting in two parts it wouldnt post as one, and im a regular poster but NC for this post.

OP posts:
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