Straight up I have to say that control was always a big issue in our marriage and I am very happy to be free of it.
This is the story. My mum died suddenly lat the beginning of the year. I live overseas and didn't make it in time. I organized her funeral and affairs but didn't get to scatter her ashes in the place where my dads are scattered. Whilst I was doing this my kids stayed with my ex. He really complained about it as well. And was absolutely horrible about my mum and tried to wangle full custody on the day of her funeral - my lawyer stamped all over that.
I want to go and scatter the ashes next year and the kids want to come too. They were very fond of their granny. So I tried to call my ex to talk about taking this trip several times and he wouldn't return my calls or pick up. Then I sent an email setting out my plans and suggested dates. He simply asked why I hadn't already dealt with the ashes and I said that there hadn't been time ( not that it's his business). So then I booked the tickets and let him know. I sent copies of the tickets to prove I was coming back and offered additional time with the kids to account for the fact we would be away for almost three weeks.
A week later he says he objects because I am stealing his time with the kids and I haven't consulted with him properly. Now he is saying that he doesn't agree and will take advice 'when he gets time'. I know this is him trying to exercise control over me. I need to take the control back. Any advice?