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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Another handhold thread!!!

39 replies

Lemmeavebru · 30/11/2018 21:24

My 'D' H assaulted me and he's been arrested.

I don't know what's going to happen next but really anxious I made the wrong decision. Please hand hold.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemmeavebru · 01/12/2018 15:07

I asked him to find somewhere and leave tonight. But family have got involved and telling me to give another chance

OP posts:
sparklepops123 · 01/12/2018 15:15

Give him another chance to do what ? Hit you again? Maybe next time he'll hit you harder

croprotationinthe13thcentury · 01/12/2018 15:26

Get this guy out of the house for heaven’s sake. This is grossly unfair on the kids. You have a choice here - THEY DON’T.
I would have pressed charges too, regardless of what came of it.

Costacoffeeplease · 01/12/2018 15:39

Whose family, yours, his? So they’re happy to stand back while he slaps you in front of the children? They’re opinion is worth zilch

Costacoffeeplease · 01/12/2018 15:39

Their opinion!

PsychedelicSheep · 01/12/2018 15:56

You don't need anyone's permission to end the relationship. His, his family, your family - it doesn't matter what they think. It's your decision.

WitchDancer · 01/12/2018 20:15

We're still behind you, with hands to hold if you still need a couple to hold.

If you have chosen to ask him to leave, there's no reason why he shouldn't. There's also no requirement for anyone else's opinion to matter here. You (and your children) are the only ones who know what is going on and whose opinion matters.

Original poster
Lemmeavebru · 01/12/2018 20:26

I do want him to leave but I don't want it to be like this. I'd like it to be neutural and amicable as much as possible. Sadly I've grown up without my dad around and I never wanted my dc to be in the same boat. I want them to have a relationship with their father. I'd just like advice on how to proceed. I'll start by ringing womens aid. I'm still aching from where he hit me and I feel emotionally numb at the moment. It didn't hurt as much yesterday.

OP posts:
sparklepops123 · 01/12/2018 20:49

You want it to be child friendly him leaving ,he's the one shown aggression not you .keep kids with you until he can show u otherwise

cestlavielife · 01/12/2018 21:12

They can still have a relationship with their dad if he leaves.
So long as he doesn't hit them too.
Go see gp on Monday get bruises recorded.
Ask about local services to help you

Sure we all wanted "I'd like it to be neutural and amicable as much as possible."

But it wont happen with an abusive violent Per son. You need to get strong.

Weenurse · 02/12/2018 04:57

Please keep you and your child safe. Go to GP and reach out to services.

PsychedelicSheep · 02/12/2018 08:55

You can't make him be amicable and reasonable, thats not who he is.

WitchDancer · 02/12/2018 19:20

I really hate to say this, but sometimes a breakup can't be amicable. This is likely to be the case with you. Try not to make that a reason for you not getting what you want and need.

Mrskeats · 02/12/2018 19:26

How could there ever be an amicable split with a violent man?
Your poor child witnessing that and then you letting him back in.

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