X reported me to police for harassment!

[greenberet]

Had a message on phone to call PC at local station - first thought it’s X - then thought surely not despite him telling me that if I did not stop emailing him re kids he would do this - i told him if he thought emails re kids future living arrangements we’re harrassment there was something seriously wrong with him

! Leading up to court case for CmS saw OW was doing a charity run ironically raising money for abused kids - I posted saying as X had contributed £100 maybe he’d like to pay for his own kids instead of taking me to court! This is what he took to police!

Phone call from sargeant caught me at a low point - I’d just been on phone to CMS trying to find out if I can get £5k arrears paid as lump sum - apparently not as he is now paying - I lost it and said if they had done their job properly when I first sent them all the evidence 18 months ago there would not be this level of arrears! IM having to deal with serious shit as a result of their failure to review my case earlier!

Sargeant got the full picture through tears - I told him I had wanted to report x many a time for e&fa - told him I’d spoken to WA many times and my GP had full story. Told him only reason hadn’t done was due to kids - he now wants to speak to me see if he can help me - I’m running on empty again - still recovering from back op - trying to magic something out of thin air - it’s only been the visits to surgery to get my dressing changed that has got me out of bed!

Every time I try and pick myself up I get knocked down again! THis impacts on the kids! ACcording to the judge I should be on the way to fulltime employment not to mention putting in place somewhere to live since x forced sale of family home. SHe has no bloody idea - I’ve since discovered she had evidence before the final hearing that proved x lied in his final statement about the company going down the pan - he took on a new employee -she ignored this! I’m also wondering how these lies sit in relation to his industry qualification which relies on honesty and accountability - maybe time to do some more!

The best advice now is to go along to the meeting with the officer.Take a trusted friend if you can to help you stay calm. The police are not interested in pursuing this type of thing but need assurance that there will be no further escalation on either side. They know there will be two sides, no matter who got in first.

The key thing is to show and tell them that the acrimony is not going to escalate on your part. No matter what he does or has done. Be calm and do not retaliate on any basis. Show you have moved on and then actually move on. See you GP as well and make sure you are getting treatment for your mental health. You don’t want to be getting a meltdown in a police station.

You've got to let a lot go.

This is hard. But holding on to injustices puts you through boiling hell.

I've a similarly abusive ex. Trust me, you have to let huge swathes go in order to live a good life.

You have my total sympathy, you really do. Do you have people on your side?

HI green. I've seen a few of your posts now, and in the kindest possible way, I see you as still having a huge amount of emotion wrapped up in your ex and the separation arrangements. I completely get why you feel unfairly treated, but for the sake of your own wellbeing, you're going to have to let go of it. From memory, the dcs are around 16 or so now, is that right?

I'm sorry this has come when you're recovering from an op, but it feels like the forced inactivity might have given you more time to brood, and it's keeping you trapped in a distressed mental state. I really feel for your distress, but you are the only one who can't tackle it - you can't wait for it to be fixed by the judge changing her mind, your exH changing character etc.

I meant, your the only one who can tackle it

you're

I have no advice to offer, no experience or expertise but can feel your frustration.

THAnk you for your responses I managed to escape for a bit - I will be letting my Gp know when I next see him. Believe me I’m desperate to put all this behind me I have to do my best to make sure the kids are as secure as possible - financially - this will ease pressure on all of us. I’m trying to get kids to negotiate their own future with x but when Dd replies there’s no point because she can never tell if he is lying or not it just leaves me very sad for her - this is what x doesn’t get!

I’m not after judge changing her mind but to ignore evidence is totally not on - I’m yet to decide what I do with this- but you can bet if I had falsified evidence or court instructions I would have had consequences. This was a material piece of evidence and totally falsified everything x said and all decisions made based on what he said - I spent £1000s not bloody on at all.