Is eharmony less daunting than the other dating sites?

[OhioOhioOhio]

I am divorcing my stbxh whom i met via online dating. It has been a hellish time and i dont quite know how ive made it through, well nearly through. The kids and i have been through a lot.

So with 2019 looming ive promised myself im going to pick myself up, dust myself off and at some pount next year, venture into the dating world.

I dont think i could face match again. Any other recommendations?

IMHO e-harmony was total rubbish, the worst of the bunch. There were very few people who fell into my criteria (ie. distance, age etc) and so e-harmony kept popping up - your matches will increase if you change your criteria, but when i did that there were people 100s of miles away! I messaged quite a few people and in the 6 months I was on there (had a 6 month deal) I never had any replies!

Match worked fine for me and also my local radio dating site which fell under the Venttro umbrella of sites. Or Tinder or Bumble maybe? It's a numbers game ultimately but, you only need to meet that 'one'. Good luck!

Zoosk worked for me, I met my fiance on there!

Thank you. Im so broken i cant imagine 'the one' anymore.

Mmmm guess it is a numbers game, hopefully not a depressing one.

I had a suspicion when I tried eharmony that there were far more women signed up to it, than men.

Having said that, I did meet a long term boyfriend via it, but he was the only person who had remotely interested me.

I also found eharmony absolutely useless and downright dishonest. Over a year after I deleted my profile and cancelled my subscription, one of my friends “found me” on there. Their customer support didn’t understand why I was pissed off.

Match, back in the day, was the popular one. Im in my early forties. Is there anyone more suitable?

The eharmony advert seems so hopeful.

Bumble?

I'm using pof but find it's like looking for a needle in a haystack...

Have been on dates from pof and tinder though. Still looking tho 🙄

I have three friends who have had good luck on Guardian Soulmates - one got married two years ago, the second married this summer, one we're expecting an engagement imminently. And my FIL met his wife on there too! It seems kind of miraculous that everyone I know who has tried it has ended up with lovely people.

Ive heard that too about the Guardian. Wouldnt it be amazing to meet someone in real life and for everything to fall into place.

I read an article on this site which has stuck with me. It had great reviews.

www.muddymatches.co.uk/

I’m another one who found eHarmony totally useless. The first time I tried it, several years ago, it said it had no matches for me 😂 The second time, about a year ago, it came up with lots of blurred-out photos and some spurious reason for each match, such as us both being “analytical”. I couldn’t see profiles or search for people in the normal way. I’m sure some have had better luck with it but in my experience, it was total rubbish.

Omg. Muddy matches sounds amazing. Do you reckon 'likes going for walks' constitues being someone who likes the countryside? Im really tempted by muddymatches.

OP - just out of interest have you had therapy regarding your divorce?

Also do you feel ready to get back into dating? OLD can be quite soul destroying if you aren't ready.

Just a bit concerned as it sounds like you've been through a lot recently and you might need to work on yourself a bit from reading your posts if you've had a tough time recently. It will do you the world of good to work through everyone with a trained counsellor.

Ohio, you put in your country likes on a sliding scale. From memory could be 60% townie, 40% country. Have a go...

A review, there are more.

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/aristocrat-family-worth-billions-marrying-14931454

From the other end of the spectrum, I met my first long term boyfriend on eHarmony and my husband! I had spent years on other dating sites (match, guardian, zoosk etc) with no success but got lucky both times I signed up to eHarmony (obviously luckier the second time with my gorgeous husband!). It's just luck really I think. Best of luck whatever you decide!

Eharmony was a rip-off bunch of crap for me - it only tells you about people you "match" with and won't let you look at anyone else in your area. I only had about 5 matches and none of them had even logged onto the site in the last six months.

I didn't have a lot of success with Muddy Matches either. Be warned that the men on there do have a tendency to be the huntin' shootin' fishin' type and to specifically want a woman who is similarly inclined. That was my experience anyway! If you're a country type then it's probably a great option for you but I like pavements and shops myself!

I think the reason the Guardian and Muddy Matches are more likely to work is that they filter for a certain kind of person straight from the get-go - you're likely to share at least some interests, core values and intentions (obv not guaranteed though!!)

I dare you to try Guardian Soulmates! Come back and tell us what you find!

Thanks rich. Definitely not ready yet but i realise as Christmas approaches that, having said no to almost every invite for about 3.5 years, im now barely invited anywhere.

I also have 3 very young children. I need to go steady but i do need to pick myself up and dust myself off. I want them to seek out my company as adults because my life is exciting. Not feel sorry for me.

Also that First Dates progeamme on channel 4. I see so many woman in their 50s + who speak about how they were screwed over by sime bloke and dedicated their lives to their kids. Their choices are all mostly gone.

Is Guardian Soulmates searchable by anyone? What attracted me to eharmony was that it wasn't publicly searchable.

Completely understand. You should join the OLD thread on here, there's some lovely people on there and you'll get great advice, support and people who will keep your feet on the ground :)

Take it slow to begin with as your boundaries might be all over the place at first.

I’ve been using tinder, pof and Bumble for 3 years. Had dates from all. Signed up for a month of Match recently quite hopefully but it’s all the crap from POF on there! So definitely not worth paying!

I've tried both eharmony and muddy matches and eharmony led me to the worst dating experience of my life with someone who claimed to have been with the same woman for 17 years then single for 5 but omitted to mention the 'mid - life' crisis with an 18 year old when he was about 38, a three year relationship with a single mum of three, the fact he used to be an escort or the fact he used prostitutes in Thailand last year until we were happily sleeping together plus another nutter along the way so don't even go there!

Blokes on MM are looking for a certain type but then I am that type so it's a better fit for me. I met my current partner of 8 months on there and he is my total soul mate. Not much choice but if you find a good 'un its fab!

I love happy endings, have seen some lovely partnerships succeed from online dating.