Faintly pathetic crush... help!

[GraceMarks]

I'm not being too specific here but will try to provide enough info for people to offer sensible advice!

I have just started a new training scheme and there is a man on the same one who I have developed a bit of a "thing" for. He is probably about my age, but is very tall, good-looking, well-muscled (he obviously works out) and seems to be a funny, easy-going type (although I don't know him at all - this is just based on superficial first impressions). I'm not really used to being around such exemplary specimens of manhood (!) and tbh I'm finding myself getting a bit distracted by him...

I am fat, unattractive, and very obviously do not work out. He is not going to be interested in me. I am most certainly not going to make my feelings clear or try to flirt with him, so I'm not looking for advice on how to do that. What I would appreciate is ideas for how I can not be distracted by him when I'm supposed to be learning, and stop the intrusive thoughts that keep creeping in. I am quite embarrassed that I'm getting all flustered over a bloke at my age!

Are you single? Is he single? You don't have to dismiss it out of hand just because you don't work out!

Tbh if you are single I would just enjoy the crush! There is nothing wrong with having someone to fancy (although yes you would need to ensure it wasn't distracting you from your work). And if he is single as well, and you have just started the scheme so have only just met, well you never know....

Hi vegemite - I'm single, yes. I don't know about him. But really, thank you for being kind, but he's not remotely in my league. I am usually capable of admiring someone without being a creepy twat about it, not sure why things seem to be different this time!

Just imagine him and others laughing at you for fancying him and focus on your own self. Work out, diet, go on dates, plan a holiday or something. Meet other guys.

Holy shit Betty. That. Is. Fucking. Harsh.

No real advice OP, other than to gather your thoughts a little if you find yourself becoming too distracted. And not worry about it!

TastelesslyDone thank you. I do actually see where Betty is coming from, although I don't see how it was necessary to be so fucking mean about it. I mean, I already worry about people laughing at me for being pathetic so I didn't exactly need that suggestion...

No one will laugh at you for fancying this guy. He sounds fanciable! You're doing nothing wrong.

It will pass.

@BettyCrook

What a horrible comment to make.

Op you sound like a lovely person. If I were you id just enjoy the crush for what it is, have a flirt with him if you want to!! I'm drawn to people who are smiley and friendly rather than the way they look anyway.

Super that's one way of looking at it! Thanks, I feel a bit less pitiable now.

Kittykat93 thank you, I've tried to be friendly with him as I have with the others on the course because I don't want to be obvious or unprofessional. It is quite fun to have a crush, I suppose, it's just disconcerting at my age when I thought I was all sensible and grown-up.

Be your flirty and lovely self. You never know who he finds attractive

Embrace the crush and enjoy the fantasy. Sounds like you have great masturbation fodder.:)

Grace DONT TAKE BETTYS ADVICE.

I see myself as fat and unnatractive and have deliberately not flirted with a guy I have had a crush on forever!

Found out from a (Male) friend in the pub that this guy fancies me, thinks I’m lovely, but never tried it on because I am apparantly a brick wall.

I’m a brick wall because I didn’t want the sheer humiliation of someone so lovely thinking someone like me thought I had a chance.

So say fuck it, enjoy the crush and a bit of imagining and have a flirt!

Ew life!!! That post is really creepy!

See none of you is actually suggesting something to help
im really sorry op i don't mean to be harsh, speaking of which, you are very harsh talking about yourself! thats why i suggested you work on yourself so next time a fanciable guy comes along you dont need to post a thread like this and enjoy flirting or even asking him out!

@kittykat93 the op said I am most certainly not going to make my feelings clear or try to flirt with him, so I'm not looking for advice on how to do that. i was being helpful.

life
Fantasising actually is the worst for quashing a crush..... it makes you blush even harder next time you see them

This thread has turned really weird.

Op, the most frequent advice I've read in MN about how to kill a crush is to imagine the person doing a hideous poo.

Will you see him after the training is completed? If not, plan something exciting to look forward to when it's over so you mentally associate never seeing him again with something amazing.

Vvmevvme Don't leave the story there... did you go out with him after that?

Cheggars thank you.

life yeah, no. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye if I'd been using him as fiddle fodder.

Betty I did see the point you were making and I think you're right, so thank you for coming back to clarify.

Blythe no, I won't have to see him again afterwards. I like that idea (planning something fabulous for after the course) and may utilise the poo tactic if things get really desperate...

In my opinion a crush is harmless fun. Enjoy.

Loving the advice to imagine him doing a hideous shite

Why do you think anyone will be able to tell you fancy him? They / him probably won’t even notice.

Chat to him! Worst that can happen is painful small talk