Nightmare ex

[210NoondE]

Hi there, so I’ve recently had a relationship breakdown with the father of my son. So in the essence of trying to resolve the custody plan in the most amicable way possible, I’ve let him choose his days and times as he’s always a nightmare and let’s my son down. Now we broke up because he struggled to keep it in his trousers, however he will not have our son over night. I feel like maybe there’s some controlling issue there I don’t have a social life and he knows and reminds me of this very regular. My son is 10 months old, his dad has done 1 night feed. I’m just looking for some opinions or guidance on what I can do? I just need 1 nights sleep! Sleeping or dealing with the Dad😂
Thank you!!

Bottom line is that you cannot force someone to be a parent if they don't want to. Is there anyone else who could give you a break? It's shit and too many (mostly men) do this. They can go to court and force through contact orders but whilst you would have to ensure the child was available, he does not have to turn up. Other than drafting in other help, I'm afraid there's not a lot you can do.

There’s nothing you can do to make him take your child overnight unfortunately. My ex will only takes ours on a Sunday night because he doesn’t want me to have a social life or meet someone else - he’s told people this. It’s one of the issues I discussed with my lawyer and I was told I can’t take any legal action to change this. You can’t force someone to be a responsible parent, you can only take legal action if your ex were withholding you from getting access to your children. It sucks but you need to find alternative childcare. Is there a friend or family member who could take them even one night every second week to give you a break? X

Thank you, for your replies! I just don't understand how they don't want to be more involved? People always offer to help but it's empty when I actually ask. I know he will be grateful when he's older for everything. It's just so hard at the moment. It's like they can't separate the relationship from the child, and actually it's really sad. I think I have better chances in holding out hope for my son to sleep through 😂! Thank you again I appreciate it! And sorry your in similar situations!

You’re right OP. They cannot separate the relationship with us from their relationship with their child. My ex hasn’t paid me any maintenance this month. He’s too selfish and stupid to realise it’s our children he’s hurting. He sees it as punishing me for ending our relationship in January. It’s sad for our children and frustrating for me. I hope you get some help so you have some time to yourself. X