Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I tell new BF that this guy was interested in me?

10 replies

LittleLifeRaft · 29/11/2018 00:26

I've been friends with this guy for about a year and during that time he's had an on-off girlfriend. Whenever they split up he would message me asking me to meet him and being generally attentive. I always brushed it off as I wasn't interested. Despite this we remained friends, as part of a bigger friendship group.

Over the summer I met someone and we are now dating. We went to an event together where the male friend was and when my female friend told him I was there with my boyfriend, he apparently got quite arsey and told her repeatedly that I didn't have a boyfriend. She'd suspected previously that he was interested in me but I didn't really see it until she told me this. When I bumped into him later that night (I was on my own at this point) where we would normally have a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek, he ignored me when I said hello.

My female friend suggested that I should tell BF about this guy because she felt he would try and jeopardise things. She's good friends with his on-off girlfriend and knows him better than I do. She thinks he's a nasty piece of work. I decided there was nothing to say - I wasn't interested so I didn't think it was necessary.

FF a couple of months and it turns out they are both going to be at an event this weekend. There won't be many other people there that they know and I think there is a good chance they will end up spending time together. Male friend hasn't spoken to me since. Female friend's warning is making me feel paranoid. Do you think I should say something to BF?

OP posts:
Notacluewhatthisis · 29/11/2018 05:17

Before posting, have tried to put myself in this situation, to see what I would do.

My last boss (I left that job and have a new one now) have me the come one a few times when my marriage ended. We got on, but I wasn't interested. He is the type to get arsey if he met up with and my, now, dp. We still have mutual friends.

If I knew we were meeting up I would mention it. Just that he is a dick, he was interested but I wasn't.

As it goes my Dp knows this story, as one of his relatives is my best friend. She also worked with me so she knew what was going on and the story came out, in passing, when we were all hanging out before me and Dp were a couple.

OffToBedhampton · 29/11/2018 05:28

Yeah, I think I'd mention it briefly, but im.not sure how you ought phrase it. It's a toughie as you don't want to give it too much weight as it doesn't have that much weight to you. Maybe just say that.

OffToBedhampton · 29/11/2018 05:36

Nope, now revising my comment. There's nothing to say really though is there? Other than "my friend thinks he has/had crush on me" Grin

CryptoFascist · 29/11/2018 05:39

I'd mention it but offhandedly, something like "Dave is going to be there but he's being a bit off with me since I met you, he's tried to ask me out before but I'm not interested" no big deal but you want to get it out if the way just in case he tries anything funny.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 29/11/2018 06:10

He tried it on whenever he was single. That doesnt necessarily mean he likes you. It just means he was after a bit, like most men are when they are single. He is obviously too busy stroking his fragile male ego to actually be your friend.
I have come across men like this before.
Tbh if you say something it might sound like your pre warning your bf to save yourself. To you....it was just a friendship, nothing happened, you have nothing to worry about, its not a big deal, you wasnt interested.
I wouldnt give it any weight or focus by saying anything, its your business, it all happened before you met your bf. If nothing happened there is nothing your bf needs to know other than you were mates but dont really talk now.

Cawfee · 29/11/2018 07:58

I wouldn’t mention it. Just act casually towards your friend. Just “Hi” no hugs or kisses. You’ve never been interested so there’s nothing to tell

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 29/11/2018 08:52

What @crypto said

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 29/11/2018 08:53

His Attitude to you on finding out you had BF suggests your friend may be right about him! How pathetic.

fuddle · 01/12/2018 14:53

Don't tell him. You don't need to explain a thing. It's nothing to do with Yr relationship.

twominfromthebeach · 01/12/2018 15:22

Tell your bf. You've done nothing wrong after all. If you don't and it comes out later your bf will wonder why you kept it from him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page