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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I like him?

3 replies

gggggggggggggg · 29/11/2018 00:01

I think I'm starting to like my best friend.

We've known each other for many years now and we're great friends, and we know a lot about each other. However, this is the issue, because of this we also know a lot of bad things about each other too.
He's seen me at my worst and I've seen him at his worst. I think I may be starting to like him because of the emotional support and crutch.

This is worst because we live in completely different areas now, it takes around 3 hours to see each other most times, preferring to meet whenever each of us is slightly nearby which usually is anywhere from 3-5 times a year. We talk often, however, most of the time, we find each other contacting one another during difficult times. At times, for months we only know the bad parts of each other's lives.

I am now careful to realize this isn't healthy. I find myself liking him whenever I think and talk about him. However, I don't have a similar feeling when I see him, it is more just comfortable being friends. Many of my friends have been telling me to pluck up the courage and pursue something a bit further. However, it is difficult, I don't know if he feels the same way, and if he doesn't I can potentially lose my best friend, who is my emotional crutch and I am also his.

I just don't want to be liking him because I'm finding solace in each other's pain...

OP posts:
springydaff · 29/11/2018 00:31

You don't fancy him.

You've been bonding over emotional stuff and that's all. You rarely see him so it's almost like a virtual relationships, like falling for someone in the Web.

Not real. You don't fancy him, just the idea of what you're projecting onto him.

Not fair on him, apart from anything.

gggggggggggggg · 29/11/2018 12:09

You're right.
I was afraid of this.
Thank you.

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 29/11/2018 12:12

I agree with spring.

Great to have such a good friend though so I wouldn't want to loose that.

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