Hello,
I am just looking for some help. I am 6 months pregnant and a few weeks ago I came out of an emotionally abusive relationship, something that was recognised when I started counselling for increased anxiety attacks. He wasn't obviously abusive, i.e. 'You're ugly' 'you're worthless' etc etc but he was emotionally controlling and started to tell me when I could and couldn't do. He would try and stop me seeing my parents and my friends and when I went to see them anyway he would punish me with the silent treatment or make me feel incredibly guilty. He also cheated on me when I was 4 months pregnant (he was talking to another girl over Facebook and now denies all knowledge of this). He also tried to be very controlling over the babies name and what life will be like once the baby is here and things. I have been working 45 hours a week throughout my pregnancy while he has been working alot less claiming that he cant get more hours or a different job. He pays me for half the rent and some bills but I have to pay for everything up front and wait for him to pay me back. I have to pay for the car, food and petrol and he sees no reason why he should try harder to contribute even though a week after getting paid he is penniless and I have to step up and provide. I don't have a high flying job, I had to give it up because I couldn't carry it on while pregnant so I have to pick up as many hours as I can. I have expressed how concerned I am for when I go on maternity leave and how we are going to afford to live but he makes out like I am irrational and being silly. There were a lot more things that I won't go into but he has mentally destroyed me, and I am only just starting to build myself back up before my baby gets here.
My main question is whether I should allow him to have a part in my babies life? If he can mentally tear me down like that I don't want my child going through the same thing- I want to protect him. He has another child from a previous relationship but he doesn't see the child much and doesn't put in much effort. I just don't want to set my baby up for a life of disappointment because of his dad. I really don't know what to do; I loved this man with all of my heart and to have someone hurt me so badly who I thought loved me and wanted to look after me and my child is devastating. I just feel lost and could really do with some advice .
Thank you in advance x.