Long rant about dp and chores!

[Hilltoptea]

I know it's been done to death but I need to moan.

I go to university, my dp works full time. We both previously worked full time for the same company but I decided to go to university to retrain two years ago. It's not the easiest subject, it's bioscience based, not that it matters really but I'm not a 'natural academic' and find it hard. I do three days of 9-5 and have two days off in the week. I work on a Sunday too but that is a temporary role. He works 9-5 Mon-Fri.

Because I'm now at university dp has decided that my life is wonderfully easy and has decided that ALL household chores and cooking are to be done by me. He does nothing. Literally nothing. Actually he might wash up once a week but then expects a medal. To be honest he did virtually nothing whilst we were both working full time anyway.

He constantly leaves dirty clothes on the floor, rubbish on the counters and dirty plates everywhere, amongst other things. Having the initiative to clean the bathroom would be like asking him to fly to Mars. Its like living with a grubby teenager and it's not attractive.

He didn't try at all at university, never went to lectures etc so had an easy experience. Has told me himself that he missed 80% of his lectures and in the same sentence tells me that university is easy. I'm working my butt off trying to achieve a first in my subject. This involves loads of time spent at home doing research papers etc. Once this degree is done I should be able to achieve a good wage that will benefit us both in the future.

When dp gets home from work he sits down straight away, watches tv and expects me to cook us dinner immediately. I've just got home too, I'm tired too and often have work to do.

I'm happy to do the majority of the housework because I appreciate that I have more time off than him. But I want him to do SOMETHING other than sitting on his arse waiting for wifey to cook his dinner and run around after him. But then I wonder if I'm being unfair because he does work more hours than me. When I moved in with him into his previous house, he'd been living there and hadn't hoovered in TWO YEARS. I probably should have run then

Just read the last bit about not even hoovered in two years, he's one dirty manky git, no wonder you don't feel passion, what a loser.

I couldn't live like this, he has no respect for you, he thinks he's massively way more important than you

Yeah that's how I see it aswell, in all these threads I read about men like that. That's why i can't understand why the women involved stay and carry on doing it aswell

It is not true about all men. I shared this small piece of research with the feminist chat board earlier this week.

Really interesting to watch the BBC series, Children, their Wonderful World, particularly the section on how babies perceive traditional gendered roles.
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06s80sp
The experiment was first carried out nearly twenty years ago. The babies in the study today, according to the programme, recognised both male and female parents as equally likely to carry out domestic chores and care for babies. A very significant change from twenty years ago. The only area which had not changed was the area of car maintenance which was still seen by the babies as associated with men.
From this small sample, there is an acknowledgement of real change in the roles played by males and females in the day to day lives of the babies. A very encouraging result.

Moaning is all very well and good but you need to leave this individual to his own filth.

Why are you letting yourself be used as a doormat?. That is a question you should ask yourself big time here.

What is in this relationship for you that is actually worth having?.

This man is a carbon copy of his own selfish father and its very much a case of like father like son here.

He hadn't hoovered in 2 years because he was waiting to move a women in to do it for him. No good can come from this relationship. Leave as soon as you can...you'll be so much happier.

Your course will go easier /faster with just you to focus on.
Get rid of your manchild ASAP

If my DP called me a fucking moron I would kick his lazy disrespectful abusive ass into next week. What a twunt. You aren't a skivvy, maid or housekeeper OP, pull your big girl panties up and either kick him out or (if it's his place) pack your bags and let him watch as you sashay your strong, independent self out of his life and into a much happier and brighter future. Honestly, who the fuck does he think he is, Lord Muckety-Muck?

You know he’s not going to change. Did he do 50% of everything when you both worked ?

I’d get out now if I were you.

Did he do 50% of everything when you both worked ?

Sounds like he didn't even do 50% when he was living by himself, gross

Oh good god do NOT get pregnant with this man child...

You'll get lumped with everything because you're on maternity leave 'having it easy'. What a vile, condescending pig. And calling you a fucking morons? How dare he!

Bide your time. Make plans. Leave.

If my partner spoke to me like that i'd leave him there and then. Deadly serious.