It's his house - am I being unreasonable?

[HollyLM]

When I met my partner he already had his own home. He had previously owned it with the mother of his two boys. She left and he had to pay her about £60k - he got off lightly!

I've lived in his property for 5.5 years, we've been together for 6.5 years and we share a 3 year old DD.

He has from day one refused to ever move house and buy one together and told me on numerous occasions that we will NEVER own a home together. After a lot of moaning he has agreed that once the £78k extension is completed (his money) and I give him £50k, he will put my name on the house to which I will only be entitled to half the amount of the equity from the day the extension is completed (so not the whole value of the house).

I understands he's been bitten before and he wants to secure he's children's future, but am I wrong to think that we should be partnership and be doing something together where owning a home is concerned?

I just don't know what to think?? It's probably irrelevant anyway as you'll see In my other posts he's an absolute bastard who I plan on not being with.... but I guess I'm asking as it's something that really gets to me and I just need to know peoples views on it!

I don't own a property at the mo and if I leave I will have to temporarily go back home until I sort myself out! x

..... where he thinks I'll get £50k from I don't know??

Buy your own house and rent it out -job done.

Live free at his ?

Having been bitten in this way myself, I would say MAKE SURE you get your 50k back. I think 50% of the increase in equity after extension is reasonable. Reverse the situationband ask yourself what you would day. If nothing else protect your 50k.

Sounds like you need to work on your plans to leave him sooner rather than later.

Do not give this man 50k, do not pass Go. Stop and think.

See a solicitor. Just read your whole post. You will be entitled to something possibly else nothing and just CM.

You may be entitled to nothing I'm afraid. In which case get his bank statements and money etc and leave and go to CMS.

Have you made any contributions to food, bills, house,, extension etc?

Ah, you don't have the 50k. And you say you are not planning on being with him. In that case - run. Forget about any house plans with him.

He was very clear all along what he wasn’t willing to offer you. You chose to stay in his home on that basis and to have a DC.

Suggest LTB.

Hope you work FT and are building up your own savings.

I just don't know what to think?? It's probably irrelevant anyway as you'll see In my other posts he's an absolute bastard who I plan on not being with.... but I guess I'm asking as it's something that really gets to me and I just need to know peoples views on it!

Well in that case he is right to protect his assett as you are planning on going.

I think you need to move back home. And I sincerely hope you have learned a valuable lesson in this: never stake the roof over your head and your child's head on another person to whom you are not married.

Don't just walk away. Run.

As you mentioned them I read your previous posts.

This frankly is the least of your issues and I suspect his previous wife took the money and run. And run is what you should do

If he's a bastard who you don't plan to be with why does it even matter? Why even discuss it.

Just leave.

You sound like you hate him, you are planning on leaving him but are upset because he doesn't trust you not to to try and get a share of his house. Hmmm

What have you paid over the 5 years towards rent?
I think his proposal for half equity from a certain point is reasonable but why would you need to raise 50k.

Don't look backwards, just what you can do for yourself and dd now, knowing that he is a selfish man

He made it very clear to you that he wouldn’t share. Run away - and think long and hard about having babies with someone before you get married.

If you haven't invested anything financially into this house and plan to leave then for god's sake don't give him 50k! Honestly why tangle yourself into a financial mess with someone you plan to leave? Do you honestly thik he'll make it easy to get your money back?

He was very clear all along what he wasn’t willing to offer you. You chose to stay in his home on that basis and to have a DC.

OP admits she doesn’t really want to be with him. But somehow she feels entitled to a house she has not paid into. I don’t blame the the partner at all.

But he's right to try and protect his assets if you're going to leave him

Why would you give him £50k if he flatly refused to buy another house with you or share anything but further equity in this house? He's looking after his own interests but not the mother of his second child's (and therefore his child). He sounds like he was never expecting it to work between you!

So you give him £50k. The house value only goes up by £20k = you get £10k and he gets £40k of your £50k.

Erm. So you would have to get a loan (can't see a mortgage company touching this one with a barge pole) to give him that money in the hopes it goes up in value by at least £100k to get your £50k back.

He is screwing you over.

He doesn't see you as a family. You are his girl friend who lives in his house and had his child.

The sooner you get out the better.

Gosh I've just read your other threads too. It's quite dismaying you're posting this, it's like your terrified to be on your own and any man is better than no man and you'll take any shit just to be with a bloke.

My posts do come across that way yes.... but it isn't that I need another man. I just love the 'family unit' and can't wait to have more children!

My posts do come across that way yes.... but it isn't that I need another man. I just love the 'family unit' and can't wait to have more children!

Yeah I mean don't concern yourself with the chaos and awfulness as long as you can have more DC.

Why would you want to have more children with a coke-snorting and dealing lowlife who brings hookers to your own house?

This isn’t a ‘family unit’ it’s more like a crime scene.