Head or heart? Help me stay strong

[mylittlestar]

Very brief, H and I have split after his affair and him treating me like sh*t for the last 8 months. Previously wonderful husband and father turned into the most deceitful, manipulative person I know. Being with me and ds for the good times. Leaving night after night to be with his teenage girlfriend when it suited.
Have given him more chances than he deserved. And he has thrown it all back in my face.


The problem....


We have 4 tickets to a local music festival this weekend. Our 2 friends have dropped out last minute.
Given he has made his decision that we are over, I said we should split the tickets 2 each, take a guest each, and go separately.


He wants to go together. He really does. And the truth of the matter is that we would have a great time if we did. We love the same bands, we have a great laugh together, we would go out to our favourite club after it... But he would leave me again on Sunday. For definite.


My head - I can clearly see it is another case of him wanting the good times and not the bad.

My heart - I still love him and know I would have a better day with him than without him.
But then I would have the heartache when he leaves again on Sunday. While he would be happy that he got the day out he wanted.


Think I want some reassurance that sticking to my guns and going separately is the right thing. It is bloody hard when your head and heart want different things!

[lovemybed]

well done you mls, i hope he felt like s**t, and im glad you had a good time.

on a diffrent subject how did you get on when on holiday with ds, not sure if you posted where you were going on here but i am going to the same place next week so any tips/advice would be appreciated

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[hurtwife]

Well done you, it is hard and I know you dont feel good because i can just tell that it is not in your nature to be cruel, and there is a part of you that wishes you could be 'nice to him'.
He will now see that you are getting on with your life and having a fantastic time - without him.

[mylittlestar]

lovemybed holiday with ds turned out great in the end post when you're on here today and i'll give you a quick update on it all!



hurtwife you're so right. I find it so unnatural to be this way with someone and after spending my whole life trying to make H happy it feels strange to actually do things that I think may hurt him.
But it's no less than he deserves is it. Sadly.