End it. Yes, it will be tough emotionally for the first few weeks,but that feeling does go away. It does. You just have to trust that you will feel better soon and you’ll feel sad/upset/out on a limb for a little while but it WILL get better. Think of it as now, how you describe things you’re happiness is at about a 5/10. Ending it will temporarily pull you down to a 1or2, but a couple of weeks from now you’ll go up to a 3, then 4, 5, 6...+
So for a week or two, you’ll feel shit. Plan for this. Pick a box set, stock your fridge with nice treats, get some podcasts lined up. Limp through it. But put a time limit on the mope phase, and still each day give yourself a little goal. Go for a walk. Meet a friend for coffee. Trip you the cinema. Add in more and more little feel-goods.
The next phase is better. You’ll have broken the back of that void type feeling, and you’ll be starting to get used to him not being on your daily radar. Keep plugging at being kind to yourself, and start seeking something new or different in your life that is totally separate from your life with him. New club or hobby would be good! Something exercise or creative related!
Now you’re back to a 5, maybe less on the odd day, maybe more! So now you really apply yourself to refilling your own cup. Learn new things, go for long walks, make plans to see friends and family, keep doing the hobby, make, read, draw, walk...this is all about discovering you. You’ll be rocketing up the happiness scale.
When you hit a 9 or 10, maybe you’ll want to dip your toe into the dating scene. If you OLD, treat it like a fun game rather than a mission. Go on fun dates and enjoy new experiences, maybe a couple of flings if you feel like it! But ultimate goal is you and your happiness being in you own skin and not needing someone else to validate you. Every day you’re with this asshat you’re blocking yourself from meeting someone who is right for you. And blocking yourself from being truly happy.
Another good thing is to make a Pinterest board of all the things you love, things on want to do, places you want to go etc. Look at it every day. Set yourself goals and work towards them. Read inspirational quotes and books. Watch inspiring films. Do random acts of kindness. You will be doing it! Replacing the average feelings he hasn’t for you with feelings of love for yourself.
You deserve more than a 5 in this life. But only you can change your number. Rip off that plaster and fern gping!!! 