I met a relationships board wanker in real life today..

[DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred]

Blimey. I just got cornered at work by a man I don’t know AT ALL who mistook me for a friendly smiley shoulder to talk at. (God knows why? I was only being vaguely ‘nice’ as he’s a representative from a client and my boss was literally yards away.) This is an edited version as the full conversation was hideous and boring, but end to end it took about 5-10 minutes.

Random unknown man comes to thank me for my presentation. Without a word from me, he pulls up a chair to where me and my colleague are sitting and segues into a monologue about how he’s new to the area because he just got divorced. Colleague makes sympathetic noises and asks how he’s getting on, while receiving death stares from me. Random man continues: It’s sad he had to move as he has a one year old, but to be honest, having the baby damaged the relationship which he really hadn’t expected. He hasn’t noticed my wtf face. I say great, I’m sure the people from his company will make him feel very welcome and show him the sights. Thank you for coming, I have to go and finish up now. He literally grabs my arm, and says he hope he didn’t offend me with the baby comment. It’s just so hard that when the baby was born his wife stopped paying him any attention and he couldn’t cope, and the relationship fell apart. My face is like before I compose myself and sympathetically say I had worried about the same when my oldest was born. My baby was totally helpless and relied on me for everything but luckily dh was a grown man who could make his own food and wipe his own bottom and we’d somehow pulled through. Colleague finally notices my face and escorts twat to the coffee machine.

Am I overreacting? Bad enough that he’s a real life loser who couldn’t cope when they didn’t get 100% of their wife’s attention, you know, sod the poor helpless baby that’s relying on her, it’s all me, me, me, but to actually admit that with no shame to people you have known for 5 minutes??

If you’re relatively recently separated and your crap h has moved away for work, congratulations on getting rid of him, have a massive drink to celebrate! I bloody need one after 5 minutes in his company!

Is this a common thing that I’ve just managed to avoid until now?

Some men think they’re genuinely hard done-by and that the world should be understanding.

Friends of dp split about two years ago because he found out that she’d had an affair several years ago. While complaining to dp about his marriage,about the ex,about his living situation he then proceeded to say “and I can’t have both kids at once because the eldest is just so difficult and they don’t get on,so I have to have them one at a time.” Waited for the sympathy from dp only for dp to say “and your wife? She doesn’t have the option to have the kids when and in a manner that suits her does she? So wy should you have that option?” Funnily enough he’s not been in touch since.

Sounds like it was possibly a cack-handed attempt to chat you or your colleague up? (Before you clearly showed that you were married and also not one to put up with any crap.) He let you know he was single and maybe he actually thought he'd get sympathy for his 'plight'! Either way he sounds like a tosser. Personally I'd have said nothing in a work environment and just moved away as quickly as possible, but to each his/her own.

Sympathies. He probably thought you would stroke his paw.

I went on a date once with a man whose xw had had twins. They divorced because he admitted without shame that he couldnt forgive her for wanting him to help at night when he had a job. I said "cant belieeeeve you are divorced".

I think he was flirting with you or your colleague too actually.

Well on the other side of this, I did stupid stuff like this after my partner walked out on me, told random people like an idiot. Maybe he's in a bit of a daze or shock about it?

He’s a prat. You handled it well. My guess is - as others have said - he’s looking for sympathy and, as he was the client, you and your colleagues would be a safe place for him to seek it. How often do people give their clients the blunt truth?

The other option is that he’s one of those ‘good guys’ who can’t handle the fact that is actually a ‘bad guy’ for being so selfish and bailing out of a relationship the minute a newborn steals his attention. He may well talk about with everyone if he needs external validation that he’s actually not a c*nt.

My primary school best friend did this to his wife. And had to share his narrative wherever he went. They were together for 9 years before they had kids and he was gone within 8 months of their daughter being born. He bought a motorbike, went skiing with his mates, and just did whatever the fuck he wanted.... but it was all his wife’s fault they split and she ‘went crazy’ after having the baby

The arm touching would have gotten a more heated response from me than the claptrap coming out of his mouth tbh.
Did you not react to that ?