Message to friends

[skimmingandscamming]

How would you feel if you read a message from your husband to his friends referring to another woman saying "I'd fuck her"

Would it bother you, or would you put it down to men being men and chatting to each other about women?

It wouldn’t bother me as I know this is the way people speak with their friends. We are all human and it is only natural to find other people physically attractive. I bet you have had similar conversations with your friends. Don’t forget that men act up in front of their friends, too. It’s a normal conversation to have with friends in my opinion xxx

It would bother me!

My DH wouldn’t be so creepy about another person.

men being men if your definition of men involves a pea sized brain and a planet size ego.

I'd think he was a misogynistic twat and be ashamed to call him my husband. Is he going to grab her by the crotch as he walks past too?

It would depend if I thought he meant it literally.

Pea sized brain and planet sized ego.....LMFAO

It's the sort of thing you would expect a not very bright 18 year old to say...

I would find it extremely unattractive but think it unfortunate I had read it. How did you come across this message? Really the.wording is very crass but I would not assume any actual intention behind it. Remember a few years back that expressions "I would..." was very common.

Nope - not acceptable. I'd not be happy and pretty embarrassed i was married to such a pig.

I would be really disappointed if my husband spoke about another woman like that.. and shocked. I certainly wouldn't see it as "men being men" as my husband and his friends I am pretty sure would never discuss a female in those terms.. I would find it very grim and would really question who I had married.. I know it sounds dramatic but I would struggle to see him in the same light after.

a woman they have interaction with or like a celebrity or someone they vaguely know?

No chance. I wouldn’t accept that without bringing it up and expressing how disgusted I was by it. It’s totally fine for OH to find someone else hot and want to fuck them, as long as he doesn’t, but it’s a serious disrespect to me if he actually writes to his friends saying it in such crude terms!

I would never message my friends saying ‘I’d fuck him’ about anyone else while in a committed relationship. I accept other people are different and some wouldn’t mind but I absolutely would be hurt and feel disrespected.

"Men being men" By only viewing women in terms of how fuckable they are?

I would be disgusted at any man messaging friends about a woman in that way, regardless of marital status. Being married to such a man? Hell no.

Probably leaving myself wide open to be slated here but I've had conversations with friends (many times over the years if I'm honest) where we've all said of men whether we'd "do them" or not. Yes it's based entirely on looks but most people can look at people and have an opinion on whether they're attractive or not. I wouldn't be bothered if DH spoke of someone that way. Different strokes for different folks I guess. So no, I wouldn't be bothered, but that doesn't mean if it's bothering you you shouldn't raise it. You are who you are, if it makes you uncomfortable, that's fair enough. Should you raise it? Not sure really. Did this seem not in his nature? I used to work with a really crass, sweary guy (we were good friends too) and once asked him how his wife managed. He said he wasn't like that at all at home. I found it bizarre that someone could be so different at work to at home, but some people are I guess round different people.

me and my friends occasionally message about our undeniable lust for Anthony Joshua, i doubt my OH would give a crap if he read that. Like i said it depends who he's referencing.

I suppose it's just a bit more crude than me and my girlfriends discussing someone and saying 'hell yeah, I would'
Which we do!
I think it's the fact it's in writing and just really crude that makes it so shocking.
I would be 'having words' though!

Not acceptable, ever.

Would need more context for me personally. I wouldn't be particularly offended if it was about a celebrity or someone unobtainable. Bit immature and but if it's about someone at work or someone they might actually puesue or something, it's very different.

Meh. I say it to, about men. However some people like to live in fairy tale of if your married or coupled your never allowed to find someone else attractive again is beyond me.

It's not about finding people attractive. Of course that happens. Texting his mates 'i'd fuck her' is disrespectful all round. Language and context here is key.
I'm pretty chilled but I'd be hugely disappointed in my DH if he did this.

If I heard my partner had spoken this way about another woman while he's in a relationship with me then that would be a case of me completely breaking it off with him and never speaking to him again.

I really don't think he would so if I were to read this, I'd wonder who I was married to.

Pretty grim really.

I have definitely responded with “I would” on occasion in reference to somebody good looking. “I’d fuck her” is cruder, sure, but not markedly different in sentiment. I suppose whether it would bother me is contextual - is the woman in question a good friend/somebody you all know very well, an acquaintance, a stranger, a celebrity?

I'd have a huge problem with it. Not because my dp found someone else attractive but because it's such a vulgar and disrespectful way to speak about another person.

I'd have a problem with it. I would be furious actually at the language used.

No, DP wouldn't speak like that because he's not 15 years old. I would wonder who the hell he was if he started talking like that. It's so crude. Saying someone is good looking or something like that is normal. That's something people so, not talk about how much they want to fuck people. Totally disrespectful to you and to the person they're referring to like a piece of meat. Nasty.