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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shared custody and shift work

2 replies

StonedRoses · 27/11/2018 07:00

Do any parents on here have any experience of sharing care post a split and shift work? I’m thinking health, police, night work that kind of thing. How do you manage round the shifts once you’ve split and how supportive was your employer?

My partner and I are separating, about as amicably as we can, and both was to share childcare as much as we can, so we both have a good relationship with our son.
I work in the NHS, in a specialty with a fair degree of acute out of hours work. Until now it’s worked great for us as a couple as weekends or nights mean days off in the week so we have managed without after school club or childcare. My shifts have enabled my partner to advance their career in a 9-5 job, so I don’t want them to be used against me.

My shifts are predictable, as it’s a rolling rota, but over a cycle cover every day and night of the week. So at the moment I couldn’t garantee to be free every Tuesday (say) or every other weekend. Swaps are possible but depend on other people’s willingness.

Apparently I can put in a flexible working request but this can’t be garenteed. I don’t want to shirk the shifts or get preferential treatment, just something that works for us.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you do?

OP posts:
LemonTT · 27/11/2018 10:05

It wouldn’t be preferential treatment to ask for flexible working that helps you manage the situation. It is a practical thing and a working entitlement for people in your situations. It depends on whether it can be facilitated.

Maybe speak to the person who manages the rota and see what their flexibility is. They would prefer this to swapping. Then put in the request. It’s better for them to be aware of your situation and included on the solution than not. If they can work around it, they will. It’s better for them and for you.

mrbob · 27/11/2018 11:48

Is it possible to have a rolling agreement with each other too? For example I knew someone who worked 4 on 4 off and had his kids for the 4 off. Would that be too much of a pain with childcare? It would probably mean the whole questions of who gets what weekends/holidays is sort of taken care of a bit too!
I know it is not the normal but don’t be limited by having to set specific days or every other weekend type arrangements. If your shifts are predictable then I think it is do-able

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