Feeling broken

[Pinkfizzypop]

I need some advice my partner had just left me. I'm around 8 weeks pregnant with our third child. He blames everything on me he suffers with depression and anxiety and he had drinking problems. I try to be there for him best I can but he can be very abusive. Since I found out I'm pregnant he has has been very cold with me and walked out tonight saying he no longer wants to be with me and dosnt want the baby he is a great dad at times to our two children. But can be very controlling over me and anything financially. I love him so much and would stick by him he has left me before tho and I am starting to feel like a door matt.n to make matters worse I don't think I can cope with a pregnancy and two children on my own and I hate the thought of abortion.

Sorry if I don't make sense I would just like some advice. Feel a bit alone in it all

OP - why are you with a man you describe as a ‘wonderful father AT times to your two children’, ‘has drinking problems’ and ‘can be very abusive’....
If not for your own sake, but for the sake of your children - please wake up and be a parent and protect them from him.
And why would you think of having another child with him????

Focus your energy on the two you already have !

I love him he hasn't always been this way I do feel as if I am doing everything on my own taking them to school and looking after a house so I would be OK without him. I just didn't plan on having any more children and was a bit of a shock when I found out.

OP - he was always the same, just hid it.
Good people don’t turn into controlling alcoholics, who leave their pregnant partners and children...

Loving him doesn’t mean you can let him do this to you over and over.

You need to look at this and really think about your existing children. And how their life will be affected by the birth of another baby.
He may come back - again - but the cycle will continue unless you break it.
These kids only have you.

He also makes me feel as if everything's my fault n I'm going insane blaming myself that it's my fault he drinks and that I have made him feel this way

OP - i’ll try one more time: he is the man who keeps leaving you.
He left you pregnant with a 3rd child.

You need to find some help and counselling for you and to build your self esteem.
As stop wasting your life on a loser.

Yes deep down I no I can't go on like this I try to hide it from my family and friends and pretend everything's OK and were in a normal relationship and family. Thankyou for your advice

You'll have to train yourself not to love him, OP. He's emotionally abusive, he drinks too much and blames YOU! He's controlling and especially financially. And now there's a baby on the way, he walks out. I thought it takes two to make a baby!?
Can't you speak to your dp's (and maybe the ILs as well) and see if they've got any advice, or if they can offer any support?

My parents don't get along with him. Witch also gets me down as I no there only looking out for me so I fi d it hard to talk to them about things . I just wish I could talk to him when I try to have a conversation with him it turns into a argument I end up upset and he gets even more anoyed with me. I would love nothing more than another baby if things were different

Op - also, love aside - do think about your kids.
At 8 weeks - you still have choices.
Just don’t base yours on a dream that one day he will wake up and come back a different person and be a part of your family.
He won’t be that person. He isn’t.

OP would you treat someone you loved the way he treats you? And how would you feel if someone you cared about, a friend or relative, was being treated this way by their partner? It doesn't matter that you love him, what matters is that he shows you no love whatsoever, in fact he treats you with contempt. You don't deserve that, and your DC don't deserve to be brought up thinking that is 'normal'.

Are you angry with him? Because you should be, you should be raging that he could do this to you, treat you like shit all this time and then walk out when you're pregnant. Find that anger and then use it to stay strong in the face of whatever shit he's going to throw at you next. Because there will be more, until you stand up to him and show him that you know your worth he will continue to hurt you, one way or another.

So use this time, while he's out of the way to find your rage and start making practical plans. What will your financial situation be if you're on your own? Check out benefits and child maintenance online (and get copies of his wage slips if possible) and start putting a plan together for housing/money/childcare etc. If nothing else it will help you feel more in control of everything and keep your mind occupied so you're not churning it all over in your head.

Your pregnancy is something I don't feel I can advise on, that has to be your decision. Only you know how much of that decision needs to be practical and how much emotional in order for you to cope going forward