Is he too young?

[Ax688]

Ive met a guy who is 6 years younger than me. He is 23.. Doesn't have kids. I have 3. We've been dating for a month. At first it was a bit of fun. Things are changing very quickly for both of us. I constantly feel at the back of my mind he is too young, naive, doesn't know what he is getting himself in for. He acts older and more mature. Even more so than men I've dated 10 years older than him.
He has told me numerous times he would love to give us a go and the kids don't phase him at all.
He makes me feel amazing. I spent 9years in an abusive relationship and I never ever thought I could feel like this about someone or anywhere near this happy. Then he came along.

Am I wasting my time with him? Is age really important?
My head is a mess.

Take. It. Slowly

Regardless of his age, you've got three children and a complicated relationship history.

Take your time. No need to rush. If he's The One, he will still be The One in many months to come

Met my 2nd dh when he was 20 and I was 32. We had three dc's together (I already had two). Together for 20 years, married for 14....and no, it wasn't the age difference that caused the split. Just to put things into perspective for you op.

I agree with the above poster. It's so easy to say "kids don't bother me" when things are new and shiney

There's 7 years between me and my OH so my argument is age (within reason) is not a make or break factor - situations are.

Best of luck.

Oh for goodness sake, slow it down. A month is NOT enough time to know somebody properly. Don't even think about introducing him to your children yet.

The age thing could be an issue or it could be fine. But you need to get to know him over a longer period of time first.

Hi, I met my fiancé when he was 24 I was 34. I thought he was older at first! I don't think age is an issue, it's more 'where you are in your life'. My dp was ready to settle down etc etc. And I'd had enough fun being single! My kids loved him fortunately, and we are getting married next year!

Honestly don't focus on the age thing! It's more what life point you are both at.

I don't think the age gap in itself is an issue, but the life stage difference is MASSIVE. It is a huge ask for a 23yr old to take on that situation.

hope he hasnt met your kids yet?

The age gap isn't a problem. But take it slowly with the dc. It's all good and well saying, hes happy to give it a go with the dc in the honeymoon period, another matter when reality sets in

For goodness sake. I've not mentioned anything about him meeting my children Or any intentions too.
Just looking for advice on the age gap and my possible relationship with him and if people have been in similar situations.

I was in your position, but didn't particularly contemplate Dp's age or our age gap really. We have the same interests, morals etc. He could have been a 34 year old man with no kids. Yes we grew up watching different things on tv, and I was taking my driving test as he was in primary school. But it makes no difference to our relationship!

Ok I guess I just needed to hear one positive story. Exactly as you have said. We have the same morals etc. He treats me amazing.

How many kids did you have? And that didn't bother him?

I know it sounds cliche but age is a number.,
Take things as u find them.. if he makes u happy be happy :)

I have 2, aged 6/9. No it didn't, he has a few nieces and nephews. But main thing was that he actually teaches kids in after school clubs, so he does see kids at their most tired and hyper. So it never phased him. Once we are married next year we will be ttc!!
When my kids are at their dads we get time alone which is lovely, as he doesn't have dc. But we are both very eager for our own

I think I’m the right circumstances, the age gap doesn’t have to be a big deal. My dh is nearly 7 years younger than me. We met when he was 21 and I was just turning 28. It’s worked perfectly well for us. Before him, I’d mostly only dated men who were a good 3-6 years older than me. But he was/still is absolutely wonderful and devoted to me and probably (still) more together and mature than I am! We married when he was 24 and our first dc was born almost 2 years after that. It’s been 10 years now (and 2 dc) and we’re still as happy as ever. But honestly I don’t know how it would have worked with children. I think that’s a big ask for someone so young (who isn’t their dad), but there’s no harm trying either. You never know!

Very similar to DH and I apart from I only had one child...

18 years on and 3DC together we've had ups and downs but still happy together

I was 41. Dh was 31.
I had 10 dc.
We are 6 years down the line married with a ds.

Knew the first night as cheesey as that sounds!!

It's been a month - cool your jets, you barely know each other. Enjoy dating him, enjoy being loved up and enjoy the getting to know each other part. There's no rush.

My friend is married to a younger bloke, it's worked for them. No reason why it couldn't work.

Be aware tho, that moving very fast can be a red flag for abusive relationships, (and people who have been in abusive relationships often end up in similar ones) - have you done the Freedom Programme?