NC for this.
Hi all,
Please be kind.
I’ve been with my OH for 5 years. I have a DD6 (split with her dad due to infidelity on his part) when I was pregnant.
Ok so, my OH and I have a DS (4 months old) when I found out I was pregnant, my OH did not take it well. I was on the pill at the time and been going out to pre Christmas parties etc. He told me that he wanted me to get an abortion as we are saving for a house etc and the time isn’t right but ultimately, it was my choice.
I went to speak to someone about a termination but I couldn’t go through with it. My OH understood and said he would stand by me.
All was great until I was about 6 months pregnant and something wasn’t sitting right. He was working late to get overtime and generally being ‘off’ around me. His phone was glued to him. Constantly.
So I looked through it when he was asleep one night. I know I shouldn’t, I know. I was feeling the same feeling I had with my ex.
I found a WhatsApp group with naked women posting pictures and videos. And communication between him and these women. He was very explicit in what he was saying to them - the things he liked etc.
I was so upset. I suffered SPD throughout my pregnancy but always made sure he wasn’t missing out. I confronted him and he denied it until I asked to look at his phone.
As I was scrolling through, he took the phone off of me and deleted it. He said he felt ashamed and embarrassed. Now, porn doesn’t bother me, the communication bothered me. And the lying. 2 months this was happening. Whilst he was in bed lying next to me. Whilst we were watching family films. Whilst I was growing our child.
I told him how upset I was and how I was feeling crap enough without him doing this. He was adamant that nothing has happened with anyone else physically etc but I couldn’t get past it. It was his dads 60th that day and I had to pretend everything was fine. I told him when we got home that I couldn’t be with him after this (the communication, the lying) and he cried. Said he was sorry, said I could have unlimited access to his phone, know his passwords, the lot. He said he doesn’t want to lose me and only have part time with his unborn child the way my ex did and does.
He’s been perfect since. I haven’t gone through his phone because I didn’t feel I had to but it’s staying with me. 6 months down the line I still think about it. These women were absolutely gorgeous.
He is such an amazing father to his son and my DD. The conversation comes up every now and then and he tells me what an idiot he was but why can’t I get past it???
Please talk some sense into me. Am I being silly? Will I ever stop thinking about this?
Thanks