13 months on and it still hurts...

[spudyoulike]

I don't know what I'm looking for here, maybe just some advice so I don't feel so alone. I suffer from depression which got a lot worse after my ex left me in October 2017. I haven't seen him since. He lives 5 hours drive away. I should be over it by now, and at some points I thought that I was. Although I think about him everyday and lately I sit and cry every day. He is not the person he was at all, he is in to drugs now and isn't the caring and loving guy I miss. I have him on certain social media apps and I'm always checking up on him. I know everyone will say just block him which I have done before and understand but is anyone else in this position and have any other advice? I'm constantly scared that I'll never love again like I love/loved him. Thanks xx

I haven't but know people who have. You do need to unfriend him/block him on every site. Get some hobbies, go out with friends, join a gym, whatever, but occupy your mind and you will gradually think of him less and less.

@Baking101 is right, you need to be tactical in your approach. Block/Remove him from all social media - you have to stop checking up on him as you're only causing yourself more stress.

And put yourself first, start finding yourself again. It feels hard at first, but small steps will make a huge difference. It takes time but you will get there.

Given that it has been 14 months and you are still in that acute phase of grief (obsessing thoughts, emotional outbursts), you may be suffering from comicated grief. This happens when people don't move through grief to a stage of acceptance.

Although usually associated with death, it can happen after a breakup as well.

Would you consider counselling? You definitely need to stop looking at his social media. This is keeping you stuck.

Complicated*