Will he ever regret leaving us?

[jodietay25]

So I was with my now ex for 2 years and we have a 8 month old together! We were perfect up until our little boy was about 3 months old! Then he started going out constantly with his friends and not bothering with me or our little boy. We then had an argument just over 2 months ago and he blurted our that he doesn’t love me anymore and just wants to be on his own. I literally did everything for him and now all he’s bothered about is his mates .. my question is will he ever regret leaving us as a family? I’m not saying I’m waiting around but I just want to know if anyone’s been in this position before .. the pain is just too much all whilst he’s out loving life 😔

I'm sorry you're in this position- but the simple answer is no one knows. How old are you both? Two years is not a lo g relationship- and you got pregnant pretty quickly. You didn't have much time getting to know each other before a baby came in to the mix, and babies out stress of relationships much more established than yours and they fail. I wouldn't expect him to regret it I'm afraid- relationships and children take work and if he is t wanting to work, then he won't. I hope you have gotten CSM and he at least helps/has time with the baby. I would t sit around and hope he changes his mind.

So sad to read.
Personally I think even if he does want to come back, will things ever be the same if he can leave so easily?
I probably think he will regret it when he has had his break or his fun, what ever it is he feels he needs
Shame us mums can't do that ey
I'm speaking from experience that if they can easily walk away, be very very careful about taking him back
Mine has left numerous of times and the 4 years I've been with him I feel like a damaged person
I let him back a number of times as he promises he will change and begs me back yet can so easily leave
My boyf / ex has been having his break since Friday and sometimes it can go on a day, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm always there when he begs me back
Not this time
I hope not for you in a nice way.
Sending hugs x

He’s almost 28 and I’m 25 .. I got pregnant after 10 months of being together so not long at all! We didn’t plan the baby I was on contraception however I wouldn’t change my boy for the world! I know I’m abit pathetic for wanting him back even after all this 😔 I just hope it gets easier .. Thankyou for your reply though

You're not pathetic at all hun, it's normal. And with your baby I'm sure it's harder when you have them saying sorry they will change
Because I expect he will do.
Wish you all the luck and sorry you're feeling like this x

Sending you a hug OP - it’s not easy, I know from my own personal experience. It’s despicable of your ex to behave this way.

IME my ex had massive regrets. Unfortunately he hurt me so badly I was unable to get past the pain and have told him he cannot be a part of my life nor our daughters. My ex did the whole going out and not having a care in the world and even started dating someone new very soon after he left but he soon became very unhappy. He still is. I’m sad about that but he made his choice.

My advice is to try not to dwell on things and try and move on without him, he may come back but do you really want a man like that in your life?

I know I shouldn’t want a man like that! That’s the crazy thing! Looking back now he’s said some really hurtful things to me yet I never gave up on him .. i honestly hope he doesn’t find happiness (bitter I know but who can blame me).
The thought of him being happy with someone else just makes me so mad and upset I can’t deal with it .. guess it’s gonna take time .. how long in everyone’s experience did it take to finally stop thinking like this?

oh no, that's a tough situation to be in. But I promise you that the reason you are asking this question is because at the moment you're still caught up in what HE thinks of you. Having a baby makes a woman vulnerable and you feel if you'd been more this less that blah blah blah maybe he'd have loved staying in with you more and wouldn't have eventually left. But honestly, your way of looking at this will do a 180. You will see that he wasn't good enough. He walked away from you when you needed him, and walked away from a baby ......for nights out. You won't be wondering whether he regrets it or not. You'll be wondering why you ever wondered.

Make sure that he’s a part of his sons’s life, doing 50/50. Why does he just get to walk away?

Yes, he walks away with his freedom leaving you with none.

Try to see you and your son as less of a package deal and to value the freedom that you've been robbed of right now. Right now you feel you've been robbed of a relationship, a perfect family, but what you've really been robbed of is your freedom.

Give him the baby 4 nights a week.

Sorry you've been hurt by such a useless tool. You will find someone who deserves you and your son
Make sure you claim cm and as pp have said make sure he has his ds regularly so you too can live a bit!

He literally see’s him on a Sunday for the day and that’s it 😔 so I don’t have much of a life at the minute! He didn’t even see him last weekend because he couldn’t afford to see him (he lives an hour away) yet went out with his friends! I just wanted the perfect family life .. knowing your just not good enough for someone anymore really is the worst feeling! I hope your right and this 180 will happen sooner rather than later

See for me when me and my lols father split, he is happy with every other weekend and to be honest so was I. Personally and everyone is different I didn't want to be away from my baby - she was 22 months for days on end. So for me it was fine this way and as my lo was so young she has grown up with not knowing any different
So I understand the feeling of feeling robbed of a relationship, family and yes freedom but for me it wasn't the best option my lo father having her more than he does or 50/50 I would have found that harder
X

As a result I have a happy 7 year old who sees her dad every other weekend, I try fill as much fun and nice things I can in the 2 weeks I have her and I get a night off to let my hair down every other weekend
It's not ideal and not something I thought I'd be a single mum at 36 but spending the last 4 yrs with someone who isn't worth it has made me realise
That I'm ok on my own at the mo
I would like to meet someone but not just yet....when I do I won't settle for the shit I have done
As hard as it sounds sometimes doing it alone and hitting rock bottom means there's only one way...and that's up
Just tell yourself it will be hard and sometimes you feel it gets harder BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel - promise
Keep talking here when you need to
I am
I am still hurting low but I know what I need to do
I hope you feel better soon xx

Your young enough to move on and live a good life.

For now...focus on you and the baby...but in time you'll realise he's done you a favour when you're over him.