i want to move forward in a positive way but am finding it very very difficult to get back to my old self. i divorced my controlling ex as his treatment of me over the years was horrific when i look back at it now. i honestly feel sick that i stayed so long. i wanted to make a go of my marriage and did not even understand the concept of being mistreated in an emotional way. every little tiny thing had to be his way all the time, he was cruel and constantly put me down in front of people. he made me feel like everything was my fault and constantly commented on my appearance so i thought no body else would be interested in me.
After many years of this i finally woke up and filed for divorce and i realised he was constantly using me.
i missed out on being with someone who could have treated me really well and i feel so sad about all the effort and love i gave him and got nothing back. i am slowly starting a new life and can see i feel much better than i did but i still feel so upset at the time i have lost. i just wondered if anyone could kindly help me with how i try to cope with those regrets and try to put them in the past. i am in my 50's so i guess i feel i am getting older as well which might be part of how i am feeling. i hope this is not it and i will not feel happiness and joy again. please tell me there is still hope for me. i do feel proud for finally getting away as he had a terrible hold over me so that took a lot and i recognise that. sorry for the rant.