Its nearly a year am I asking too much?

[donnalouise1977]

I've been with my partner for nearly a year. Only see each other a couple times a week. It's my daughter's birthday today whom he adores yet he hadn't bothered to ring or message until now at nearly 11 to say he'll be over at 9 so I can help him move, he's moving from his place to another, I've spent all day cleaning as his son who is 24 is supposed to be moving in with me for a few weeks until the new place is vacated. In the same message he's saying he's just got back after going to his friends to pick up a key and he'll be over at 9 if it's too early let him know. I haven't opened the message.

Is it too much to expect a hello, hope dd has a lovely birthday, really busy today but I'll see you tomorrow hope you're ok message?

We've never had cross words in the last year

He's a bit preoccupied atm, probably so busy he's forgotten.

So should I not say anything. Can't help but feel annoyed

Maybe cut him a bit of slack if its a one off and the night before he is moving but i would mention you were a bit upset.

In an ideal world he would have remembered, but he didn't because he's really busy moving (and it sounds as if things are quite complicated for him at the moment?)

What do you want him to do now?

No you are not asking too much and you are ok to feel annoyed and a bit unappreciated. But unless this is part of a pattern then it is obvious he is busy and stressed with the move. This makes people forget things but it doesn’t mean they are like that all the time. I forget some very important things when stressed and my DP has lots of fun reminding me. He never gets angry about it.

With the benefit of distance I would recommend just playing it cool and replying positively. A yes that’s ok, hope everything is sorted and you are not too stressed. Let’s catch up tomorrow.

When he is a bit more settled remind him of DDs birthday and suggest doing something special for her when the fuss of the move has died down.

Thank you. I'll cut him some slack. It's not just the ignoring her birthday that's upset me it's the lack of contact as regardless of how busy I am I'll send a quick message to say hi I'm busy this evening so I'll catch up with you tomorrow

You say he adores your daughter. It seems far more likely an oversight than an intentional snub or couldn't be @rsed. He's moving, that is hugely stressful. I think you need to allow him to be human

Seems a bit early to have a son stay with you... could lead to problems...

His son is only staying for a week inbetween his flat being ready.

Why isn't his son moving in with him?? Sounds odd and one sided. You spend your daughter's birthday cleaning because his son is coming to stay with you for a week/a few weeks (which is it?) and your bf does t bother to contact you all day until he checks you're still ok to help him the next day. Things don't sound equal at all and I'd be cautious. Pay attention to his behaviour and listen to what it says. If it's a one off then I'd still be annoyed but if it's a part of his general attitude of him treating you less than ideal then I'd be questioning the relationship. I have low tolerance for this kind of thing after many a one sided relationship.

‘Ignoring’ is a strong word.

Do you genuinely believe he remembered her birthday but deliberately chose not to mention it?