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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shall I put what I think of my dad in a email ?

15 replies

stressedmum15 · 23/11/2018 20:26

I've posted about my dad before as I've had nc with my dad for nearly a year now . I thought I had put it to bed after I made the decision to have nc but I feel I can't move on . I think about it a lot especially now it's the run up to Christmas.
After he made contact by email a few weeks ago , no apology over how he's behaved or anything so I ignored him and told my dm why . But now I'm think I need to tell him to make him understand.
My dad has always been moody , when I was a child if he came home in a bad mood we all had to walk on eggshells to not upset him and this has carried on . I think my dm doesn't call him up on his behaviour chooses to ignore him so when he is horrible and I won't have it he can't understand it and thinks I'm unreasonable. Many times over the years he has decided not to speak to me for months for no reason. He will ignore me and my dc and dh .
The final straw was this year when he refused to come to dc birthday party then sent me abusive text for allowing my mum to have a glass of wine . He is controlling and because he can't control me is verbally abusive . Honestly when he gets going you would think he hated me it's so nasty I have no idea what I've done. I react by just blocking him . I feel I need to write it down to make him understand how much hurt he has caused me as he wont apologise and doesn't think he's wrong . As a mother I can't understand how someone can be so nasty then not want to apologise and sort it out .
Tbh I think it's damaging me , I want to talk to someone but dh doesn't want to talk about it so feel I need to keep it in so I can't discuss this with him . I can't discuss with dm as she said understands and knows he is difficult. Tbh I feel my mum has some responsibility for ignoring his behaviour over the years so he has got gradually worse .
Help me decide is this a good idea to send email explaining my reasons or not ? I feel this may help me but I don't want to cause further problems with the rest of my family. I have not missed him at all but I just think it makes me sad and mad that he is the way he is . Advise appreciated or if you have been in a similar situation with nc relationships and have you put it all in writing?

OP posts:
ravenmum · 23/11/2018 20:45

No, but I did try talking to the person involved. It was like poking a stick in a hornet's nest. Ended up with me apologising just so as to return to the previous situation.

Counselling is excellent if you can get it. Someone whose job it is to sit and listen and respond professionally to you going on and on about even the stupidest-sounding things.

category12 · 23/11/2018 20:48

You can't reason with the unreasonable.

stressedmum15 · 23/11/2018 21:00

@ravenmum I couldn't do to his face tbh he scares me a little but also I don't want to see him either just want to have my say if you like .
@category12 I get that he is very unreasonable and I have always said this I suppose I don't even care if he responds .

OP posts:
Rixera · 23/11/2018 21:02

Please do get counselling.

I was not in the same situation as different kind of abuse but the excused that came back when I tried to explain going NC were damaging to me as it had me questioning my own perception of reality. It did no one any good.

If you feel like the explanation would help you, perhaps send it then block so he can't retaliate.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/11/2018 21:03

Write it down but do not send it. You are no contact for good reason and you need to keep it that way too.

Read the Lundy Bancroft publication why does he do that. Your dad is in those pages.

Post too on the well we took you to stately homes thread on these pages

SonEtLumiere · 23/11/2018 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/11/2018 21:10

Tempting as it is to send him an email it will not achieve anything. Such people never apologise nor accept any responsibility for their actions. Opening any communications opens a door that should otherwise remain closed.

Do not therefore send him anything, radio silence from you needs to be maintained.

Getoffthetableplease · 23/11/2018 21:12

Agree with the above, talking to a counsellor and/or writing it down and then not sending it. I don't think you can ever change the mindset of someone like that and you're only going to get caught up in the return fire. I would try and have a conversation with your mum regarding your relationship though, as you do sound hurt by that equally.

ravenmum · 23/11/2018 21:18

I definitely wasn't recommending doing what I did Grin complete waste of time.

Yep, they just don't have the insight, or won't admit it if they do; might be OK if he just read it and didn't respond, but more likely he'll come back at you with some nonsense that will make you feel awful.

My counselling was supposed to be for my marriage breakup, but we discussed my parents, and now I feel like all the things I'd obsessed about for years have been processed and explained. When I do think about it now it's with a lot less tension.

stressedmum15 · 23/11/2018 23:08

Thank you for your replies.
I was strongly in favour of Sending a email but glad you have talked me out of it .
I think I may type a email but not send .
Therapy is good idea I come from up north where we don't talk about our feelings.
I'm desperate to talk to someone . Think this will be something I will sort in new year but not sure how to explain to dh .

OP posts:
Shadow1234 · 23/11/2018 23:19

Agree with others, write down your feelings on paper for your own benefit, but do not send. Your father doesnt deserve an explanation from you, and probably wouldnt see things from your prospective anyway. So sorry that you are going through this right now.

Joysmum · 23/11/2018 23:33

One thing I’ve learnt when dealing with abusive characters is that the more information you give them about about your feelings and what makes you tick, the more ammunition that gives them and the more effectively they can attack and hurt you.

Less is more Flowers

ChristmasSprite · 23/11/2018 23:37

Just wondering whether there's any likelihood that he would create massive drama out of 'being treated like this by you!!!'

Whether he would then garner support then from your DM, and any siblings of yours/his, and any other mutual contacts, telling them how awful you are to him?

I think if you thought anything would have done any good you would have felt able to say it years ago and it make a difference.

The shame of it is that you don't get closure from these abusers. They are just not worth it.

Agree with the counselling, if you get a good one so you get pour it all out, dump it and move on from him, be free of him totally.

I hope things improve soon

Sleepingdog123 · 24/11/2018 09:03

My mum is a bit like your dad. And my dad enables it by having never addressed it, like your mum does.

My mum can be very supportive but then has times of being very stroppy and self indulgent. And sulks. She'll kick off about something and when she knows she's been unreasonable she will sulk. When I was a kid the sulking could go on for days and we'd be in eggshells, my dad would be grovelling round her and after a couple of days she'd flip back to normal. In reality whilst she may have had reason to be a bit irritated about whatever triggered it her reaction was something she should have been asking forgiveness for but no, we'd all be made to feel we had been unreasonable. It was a weird cycle and she continued to do it until a few years ago with me (I've not lived with them for 20 years so this would be by sulky text or ignoring mine of my calls). I make her sound hideous but these incidents weren't that frequent in fairness but were hard going when they happened.

A few years ago we turned a corner - we had an argument in which she was completely unreasonable. I was dealing with some pretty awful stuff which she had been really supportive about and something triggered one of these episodes. I simply refused to do my usual 'leave it a while then get in touch like nothing is wrong and be overly friendly so as to make the peace'. It ended with her contacting me, eventually - weeks later! And me standing firm saying I was hurt by how she'd made me feel at such a difficult time. I made it gently clear I couldn't move on without an apology or acknowledgement. Which I got. She's never been good at apologising and I think the difficulty of her having to do that was enough to change her behaviour with me and we've never had such an incident since.

So my advice is to stick at what you're doing, I know if I'd emailed my mum explaining these traits it would not have been well received. And wouldn't have resolved the situation. But then I wouldn't like to get correspondence which highlights all my flaws. Eventually if he comes to you, even not to address the situation, but to try and move past it by contacting you about something else, consider what your response will be then. Either go with the flow and see if he had learned not to behave that way with you again because of the consequences of last time or address it politely head on that you are still hurt by what happened before and request an apology.

It's a form of domestic abuse, which isn't solely down to partner relationships. The telling thing about such abuse is that people only do it with their families. My mum doesn't silk for days at work (I assume!) So it's a conscious decision to be that way with family. Therefore they can change and make the conscious decision not to be that way. It's just about finding the right way to address it with that person I think.

Sorry have rambled on forever!

stressedmum15 · 24/11/2018 11:19

Thank you so much for your replies I feel better already .
@Sleepingdog123 yes your mum sounds like my dad I get that's a form of mental abuse .
My dm and my siblings just except that is the way he is I don't feel I get any support from them if anything I feel they think I'm being unreasonable for refusing to see him although I may be wrong. My dm says they all support me but the only contact I've have is off 1 dB to tell me when my dad sent email and wanted to prompt me to reply which I kinda felt bullied into responding then . I know my other dB sees dad regularly but I never even get a text from him on mine or dc birthday. My dm is the loveliest person ever why she wastes her time with him I don't know but she has chosen to ignore his rude or ignorant behaviour over the years where it is embarrassing. Even if I have called her out on it she looks confused I'm wondering if she is that used to him just completely ignored him .

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