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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband hates me (update)

9 replies

LeanneBonJovi1 · 23/11/2018 16:39

Hi

I started a thread last year called My Husband Hates me.

Well on the back of my original post, I did the typical trait of an abused person and took him back and did numerous times after that until one point in November 2017 when I just had enough. He was stealing off me, selling my stuff, borrowing money all for crack and heroin. I regularly found used tin foil in his pockets.

Anyway, last year I met up with a friend one Saturday and spent the day with her as you would with a friend....well when i get back home I was accused of cheating, called a dirty slag and this went on for the whole weekend. I took a the following Monday off work ill as I was so drained anyway he turned back up at the flat at about 12pm that day (he was meant to be at work). Well when he got back he was convinced there was another man in the flat and he assaulted me....well that was the final straw for me and the marriage was over, the police were called and he was kicked out. He did come back a few days later and took all the furniture.

During the past year my depression escalated and i continued to get abuse from him via emails and texts.

Fast forward a year and I am in a new relationship with someone who isnt abusive, my depression is improving and I have lost 4 stone and embarked on a new healthy lifestyle. I realise now that I was in abusive relationship, that it wasnt me with the problem it was him and everyday I feel physically and mentally stronger.

What I am trying to say is things do get better so my advice to anyone in a similar situation is to get yourself out, get help and support from family, friends, your GP, your employer, organisations.

Now I am looking forward to the new year with my new partner (and the Bon Jovi tour next year)

Thanks

OP posts:
Threewheeler1 · 23/11/2018 16:44

Fucking well done OP! Smile
What an amazing change in a short time. You've completely turned your life around by the sounds of it - all credit to your strength and resilience.
Hope you have a brilliant time at Bon Jovi & that things continue to get better. Have some Flowers

LeanneBonJovi1 · 23/11/2018 16:57

Theres the link to original post if you want to take a look:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2951883-My-husband-hates-me

Its not been easy and ive had to hit my lowest point but I do believe that the past year has been a learning curve and im slowly getting my self esteem back. Looking back i can see that the person i was wasnt working and have realised that I am actually someone else entirely...someone better.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/11/2018 16:59

@LeanneBonJobi1 you are fucking awesome!!!!

What a lovely post to make. I hope if someone else reads this who is still in a similar situation, this gives them the push they need to do something similar.

Thank you for posting. Enjoy Bon Jovi - I'm off to see Def Leppard next month!!!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/11/2018 17:00

Sorry should have been @LeanneBonJovi (fat fingers!)

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 23/11/2018 17:01

@Leanne....thank you so much for the update. My STBXH wasn't abusive and there were problems in our marriage but I am devastated and love to hear positive updates! So go you!

LeanneBonJovi1 · 23/11/2018 17:06

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy they are doing a few of the European dates with Bon Jovi next year...UK get Manic Street Preachers

OP posts:
LeanneBonJovi1 · 23/11/2018 17:09

The main reason behind this post is if it can help change one other persons life then it will be worth it.

No one should have to suffer abuse especially from a partner.

The situation is entirely perfect as my ex husband is demanding that adultery and my current partner are named on the divorce which wont be happening. He will try anything to make himself seem better than he really is

OP posts:
ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 23/11/2018 17:12

🙌 amazing.

MyNameIsJane · 23/11/2018 17:15

So brilliant. Well done.

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