Messy separation

[Philjay50]

Hi, I have just walked into a mine field, I am trying to help a young lady whose husband has walked out on her. She has two children that they seem to share custardy. It would seem he is being a pratt and has now announced that he wants to come to the house and collect some of his belongings, however, from the conversations I have had with her it seems that he wants to remove some of the furniture, bed, sofa's etc. They are still in the process of getting divorced, slow and messy. As far as I know there are no financial arrangements in place and no orders made for goods. My question is, can he come in and remove furniture from the property leaving her without a bed or furniture?

That's a difficult one! If it's a rented property in her sole name (unlikely), then arguably she could deny him entry. Otherwise the goods would probably be held as jointly owned. Maybe she could tell him he needs to give her half the value of the furniture, and she can go to British Heart Foundation and get cheap replacements? (They deliver).

If they are married then the furniture is a joint asset.

I suggest she seek legal advice quickly because it sounds like he'll continue upping the ante.

From what I can see the guy is a loose cannon, I understand that the furniture is a joint asset but given that she is still living in the matrimonial home with the children can he lay claim to the furniture and remove it before there has been a final settlement?

Courts prefer not to be involved in chattels unless it's something valuable (jewellery, paintings) so they probably wouldn't get a decision on that. Possession being nine points of the law, and her having the goods, she would do best to deny him entry and tell him to bog off, he's having nothing!

I would find out if the property is jointly theirs as this means he can still gain access.
Ask him for a list of what he wants and agree on a fair agreement, only problem is that he can ask again later on for more items as its not legally binding. I suspect its probably more to do with control on his behalf it normally is.
I have been in the same situation where my stbxh threatened to take me to court if i didn't show him photos and videos of the inside of the house, counting the inside of all cupboards!! This was after i denied him access to the house as he wanted to go around the rooms making a list. In the end i told him to crack on and take me to court ~(he had already taken me several times. Anyhow he never took me to court and never took any items. I know it was more about control rather than any possessions.

A court isn't going to decide who has the sofa or the bed.

It isn't unreasonable for him to have some of it.

You are absolutely correct, it is about control which is why I am trying to help, the guy has been very unreasonable at times. As far as I know the house is in joint names but he has to get her permission to gain access, but surely it is unreasonable for him to come along and remove furniture, basically making it almost uninhabitable, she will have nowhere to sleep or sit. If it is something that is join ownership, then could he be asked for half the value of the goods? There are children involved here.

I guess its only unreasonable if he wants to take items that effect his children, the rest he has as much right over as she does. My stbxh wanted to take the cooker. of course that would effect the children i wouldn't be able to bloody cook for them!! prat

Get him to write a list and come to some compromise, if she has 2 sofas let him have one etc. Or maybe she can buy these items off him??

She needs a solicitor.

He could take her to court and represent himself, this costs next to nothing but the stress for your friend would be huge. Try to get them to an agreement between them. Maybe get him to email over a list to her and for all contact regarding furniture to be through email then there is a trace.

She has a solicitor but they seem as much use as a chocolate teacup, the problem is basically he is a moron. We will see what happens, I am entering the game late on so it's very much a play by ear, I just wanted to try an understand what my boundaries are. For example, lets say he wants the sofa, can we say you can take a chair or two nut not the whole thing, as for the bed, surely not?

Her solicitor should be able to answer that. If they can’t, she needs to change to a solicitor that can. You may also get a legal answer on the Legal Matters board.

Why is it unreasonable for him to leave her without furnishings, but not the other way around? If they are half his then she is going to have to compromise

DerelictWreck, well I fundamentally agree with what you say, but, if he is the caring soul that he purports to be he would surely be considering the stability of the home for the children, just a thought.

You seem to want him to walk away with nothing. That isn't going to happen.

I just wanted to try an understand what my boundaries are

They aren't your boundaries. You aren't the one seperating and it isn't for you to decide. By all means help and support her but you getting over involved won't help and could be prohibative.

if he is the caring soul that he purports to be he would surely be considering the stability of the home for the children, just a thought.

Again. He won't be expected to have nothing. In fact if they own the home and they aren't yet divorced he doesn't have to leave.

thanks to all for the info.