Hi, sorry for the long post. I'll try keep it short but need advice.
Husband and I split up last year which was amicable but still difficult. I started seeing someone I kinda knew from work a few months later (no longer work together now) and it was going great for a long time but we kept it secret. Just before we were due to not work together anymore I started to get annoyed that he still didn't want to tell anyone about me even his best friends. I was also stressed with some seperation stuff which he was understanding about but I got huffy a few times and had a go at him. Nothing terrible hough and for example I wanted to go on holiday as we had planned and there was always a reason why we couldn't plan anything.
Anyway he then dumped me at the end of July saying I pushed him too far. I accepted full responsibility and tried to say sorry and get him back and fix things but he was done. Ashamed to say but I probably did some pleading and came across as needy. Anyway I gave up and left him to it but a few weeks later we started messaging again and we met up and slept with each other. I was adamant I didn't want a FWB situation and I wanted to reconcile. Anyway after a week he would always go quiet then I would try to get him talking and the same thing kept happening. He kept saying he couldn't trust I would have a go at him and how he was willing to give me what I wanted if I had just been more patient etc.
Anyway after going back and forth including him giving me the silent treatment for 5 days then telling me he didn't want me we started talking again and have been messaging every day for 4 weeks and met up once. We don't live near each other but we didn't have an issue being in a long distance relationship.
He was always telling me what I did wrong then I would work on that and change it but then there would be another thing I was doing wrong, always shifting the goalposts.
He has been working away and doing long days and I was understanding he was busy. He said I had to do things at his pace which I was ok with but at the weekend I asked if we could call each other rather than message and he said I didn't need to ask but he would call when he could. Anyway on Tuesday he said he wasn't busy and I stupidly suggested he could call if he wants then he went off on one saying I don't listen and I keep going over the same stuff! I only wanted s phone call as I'm tired of trying to reconcile only on whatsapp. Anyway I had a bad feeling he would go quiet so I tried to get him talking which I know deep down he hates but I didn't know what else to do and I regret talking about phone calls!!
I haven't heard from him since!! He has read all my messages and I feel like a twat for messaging but he will not respond. I don't if he ever will!! I have stopped messaging now. There is no point in me trying to call as I know he won't answer.
I'm completely gutted and still blame myself for everything that went wrong and don't know what to do!!
I always seem to do everything wrong and get blamed for everything and I end up tiptoeing around worried I'll say the wrong thing and I'll upset him or he will feel pressured. It never used to be like this but I'm not allowed to say anything or he gets upset.
I'll likely never hear from him again and I'm completely heartbroken!
Any help or advice is appreciated.