Sexless relationship

[Ava100]

Hi I need some advice or even to hear others that have gone through this,
We have 3 children and our youngest is 8 months old and since September 2017 we have had sex twice both times he got his and left me hanging (can females get blue balls?!) i am in a position where we have talked about this on more than one occasion and do I try to make this work? we talked last night and are going to try couples counselling but I’m worried it’s too late, I don’t want to leave but if I wanted to be a nun I would’ve joined a convent, I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with being a housemate who does all the cooking and cleaning and looks after the kids
So my question is.... can a relationship be salvaged ?!

Besides the lack of sex, this would be a massive issue for me, why doesn't he pull his weight?

I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with being a housemate who does all the cooking and cleaning and looks after the kids

Couples counseling is 100% the way to go. If anything can save the relationship, this can. Go with an open mind, ready to listen. Good luck X

What does leaving you hanging mean?

You have three children and your baby is only 8months old, I expect you're both worn out.

Try and simplify the chores - for both of you - put your feet up.

It's a bit drastic to talk about ending what has obviously been a long term and successful relation until fairly recently.

There was a thread on this yesterday, and last week, and weeks before.

Whether a relationship can be salvaged depends on efforts of both parties. Also depends on the causes of the loss of intimacy. Ie medical vs relationship issues...

Generally - options are:

1. Fix it with couselling and joint effort
2. Live as co-parents and suppress libido
3. Find sex outside of marriage w/o informing spouse
4. Find sex outside marriage with spouse’s agreement - open marriage
5. Divorce

While droughts happen with many couples, solutions to systemic relationship problems are rare.
Sorry

It really depends on the underlying issues. Are you in an equal relationship with open communication? You sound a bit used if you are doing all the housework, children, cooking etc. I'm afraid my view is severely coloured by a long abusive marriage with worse than appalling sex, and I really hope you are not in the same situation!

I went with my ex to endless couples counselling and I used to find it helpful. Ultimately my ex was endlessly repeating himself and going nowhere and the issue of sex was never discussed so I swept it under the carpet.

Rachelover40
It means he had an orgasm and didn't give her one. They might be tired but that doesn't mean it's OK for him to come and not her.

solutions to systemic relationship problems are rare

Evidence? Stats on success of counselling are pretty high...

@user1486250399

Sure. You are right - i didn’t qualify enough.
While couselling can and does often solve relationship problems - it, usually, happens when BOTH parties want to solve the problem.

In OP’s description - it doesn’t appear to be the case.
So - given that - albeit short description of the situation - it doesn’t seem to be looking highly likely.

In my observation - loss if intimacy - unless it has a medical explanation, or a hormonal-post-baby-tiredness - is hard to come back to.
Especially if it’s on the male side.