Why can't my ex husband move on?

[surlycurly]

Just that really. The man is odious. He does everything he can to make me miserable. He's remarried but can't seem to get on with his own life without sabotaging mine. He plays constant games about maintenance and has cut his maintenance money back further and further. He's self employed and always seems to manage to get around it. He plays games with my children all the time and he's ruining his relationship with them, and destroying their sense of self as he chooses everything and everyone over them. I've just had yet another text telling me he's no longer paying for something else that has always been part of our arrangement. He's a joyless, thrawn, narcissist who wants to crush me slowly into the ground. He's not managed it yet but I'm exhausted with the games and the head fuckery. Why can't he just move on?

As a single parent would they qualify for FSM? Or are you above the threshold?

Some countries have agreements with the UK so it's worth checking and trying to get this sorted before he thinks of leaving OP?

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/countries-where-you-can-enforce-child-maintenance-decisions

At least you can prepare yourself either way.

Oh @dilly123 how awful. My ex knows
Nothing about the children's day to day lives too, and they no longer phone him to tell him anything. I do get a reasonable amount monthly through a private arrangement as the last CMA award was £232 when I know he's earning £90k a year- I threatened to go to his employer (private contractor- runs his own business) and he offered less then I should get but a more reasonable figure so I took it. This money is late a lot recently and all extras have gone. I also asked him to sign a maintenance statement for my mortgage recently and he refused saying he doesn't want to commit to paying it. He too treats me like the money is still his to spend and is constantly dictating what it should be spent on. I also lost my mortgage offer and nearly my new house as a result. He wants to humiliate and shame me by keeping me skint. He also has real issues that I've managed to buy the house and take the kids in holiday etc over the past few years because he's terrible with money. It's taken years to get back on my feet after paying half the matrimonial debt that I didn't run up. Or know about. He tells me that I should move on (ironic), and then does everything he can to prevent me from doing so . Interestingly he wasn't as bad when I was in a relationship. I think he thinks he still has some kind of ownership of me. He never did.

Personally, I'm drained and I'm tired. He exhausted me when I was married to him and he's doing it still. My children are hurt and broken about the relationship and I can't fix it. It's horrendous.

Oh gosh I do feel for you. Your poor dc.

He’s an absolute bastard to them and you.

Hiwever, in a way, will it be better when he goes abroad? They will know he’s gone, they won’t be seeing him and they need to come to terms with that. I would go to the school and get some support from them, so they can deal with their feelings.

But in the long run they will be better off without this nasty, manipulative man in their lives.

I couldn't agree more. I can't wait until he's gone.