I've actually done it, almost!

[brindley81]

20 weeks pregnant and my DP has turned into a nasty piece of work since we got pregnant (something I hear is quite common but still - feel a bit of an idiot for not realising before TRC. Still, can't wait to be a mother all the same!)

I've been wanting to leave for at least two months and just not had the guts for some reason, like I need him even though he does nothing but spend my money and make me feel terrible about myself.

Well last night I saw my friends for the first time in ages and it all came spilling out, of course they encouraged me to leave and now here I am sat with my bags packed about to go. I'm scared, excited, heartbroken, proud, and quite frankly shocked that I've even got this far!

I know this is going to be really hard for me and I'm sure I'll crash and cry as soon as I get to my friends house but I know it's the right thing and there's light and the end of the tunnel.

I don't really know why I'm posting I guess I'm just in need of someone to share this with!

Well done 💕 good luck with everything

Onwards and upwards! Congratulations on making the right decision and although there will undoubtedly be dark moments, it sounds like you have support around you. You and your baby will be fine.

Well done you! Where are you going? Not being nosy but it isn't always easy for people to just pack up and leave. I see you said you were going to a friend but you're pregnant and need a stable home. Pity you couldn't kick him out.

Good luck with your pregnancy and the rest of your life.

We rent, but I pay for everything so theoretically he should be the one going but he has no where to go and definitely doesn't want to leave so rather than wait for him to sort accommodation out (whilst I calm down and no doubt start to think we can work through it) I'm off to my friends for a couple of days!

Rooting for you and congratulating you on making the right decision.

Omg well done, you need a good male role model in the life of your child: only the best!

So congratulations!

Your child depends on you for a happy, healthy, stable, fun and safe environment to grow up in.

He sounds the lowest leeching off you! Where is his self respect?! No decent man sponges off a woman.

You only want kind, thoughtful, helpful and generous people in you and your child's lives so you are responsible for that so well done!

I'm so glad you're getting away from him. Is your name off the tenancy now?

Best of luck. Don't think back. Think about your future.

Go you.. be strong.. think of that baby 💗

Well done. What is the situation with the house that you rent, are both names on the lease?

Why are you paying for everything?
Does he work?

Well done for getting away.
You know you deserve far better.
However, if you are his meal-ticket, he will be doing his damnedest to hoover you back in to keep his cushy lifestyle!
Stay strong.
Stay focused on you and your DC.

Good luck.

He doesn't seem bothered at present! He will be home and know I've left and I haven't heard from him so hopefully he will leave me too it so I can try to stay strong!

He does work yeah, but was unemployed for a long time and is yet to sort his money out. Let's be honest why would he pay me back when I carry on letting him get away with it! My own fault ... but not acceptable!

@brindley81 Well done!!!! And well done your friends for their support.

Please don't keep paying the rent for him or he'll have no reason to move out.

Congrats on your baby and hope you enjoy your new life!

Well done for leaving

Definitely don’t go back.

He sounds awful.

Excellent, you have made the first step. Onwards & upwards 👍🏻

Best of luck OP, better to get out now before the baby arrives than afterwards

Well done
So often we see women post on here, putting up with being treated like crap. Whilst I wouldn't cheer that someones relationship has ended, I am giving you a cheer for being so strong and doing what is right for you and your child. I'm glad you have good friends in RL to support you. You can always post back here if you have days when you're feeling down. Congratulations on your pregnancy and here's to a bright future for you and your baby

He's text me a bit of abuse and my friend has said he's gone to the local pub, with my money? Fantastic!

To be fair he's doing me a favour, it's just making me even more sure I'm doing the right thing.

Fingers crossed you stay strong

Another one advising you to contact your landlord a.s.a.p to inform them you are no longer living there. Not saying he would, but if he trashes the place you could be partly responsible.

Hello
If its only your name on the rent book, i think I’ve read on here that you can kick him out Go for it
And all the very best for you and the child

Both our names on the rent, so not sure what that'll mean. We only need to give one months notice though x

Could you afford the rent on your own? If so you could talk to your landlord and explain that you have split up and want his name removed from the tenancy. If he agrees then you can force him to move out after the month.
Alternatively, I would just give your landlord 1 months' notice right now and don't even bother telling your ex. Be careful about getting the deposit back to you and not him though.
Good luck!

Cancel any direct debits asap and any contact any utilities currently in your name letting them know you no longer live there and from now on all bills go in his name. And if he has any access to accounts change your passwords before he cleans you out!!!

I assume you’re on a rolling AST if you’re saying you only need to give a months notice?

Beware as it’s one complete month from the anniversary of the payment dates. So if payment is due on 1st of every month and you give notice on the 2nd, your tenancy will not end on the 2nd of following month, but the 1st the month after that unless your LL agrees otherwise.

You can ask the LL to consider you as lone tenant after that period but tgat would involve formally ending the last and starting the new with a deposit from you and new inventory and they are under no obligation to do so. Until the tenancy ends you are both jointly and separately for all costs including rent and damages/extra costs.

When the tenancy ends the LL would usually agree for the deposit scheme to release the deposit to the lead tenant, you’d need to make sure to register your interest in getting half if you are not the lead tenant.

Hope that helps