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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sense check needed - AIBU!? >>>>>

26 replies

peaky297 · 21/11/2018 09:00

So my husband is best man at a wedding next year and I just feel that what is expected of him both time and cost wise is getting a bit beyond. None of the bits individually would cause a problem, but added together I just feel like his friend is taking the p!ss.
Firstly, his friend wanted a stag abroad (fair enough), but insisted on it being for 3 nights rather than the standard 2 nights, meaning more cost and more time needed off work for DH.
On top of this, he wants another stag at home in Manchester for the friends who have declined to go due to cost / time away from their wives and very young children.

Then, to top it all off, the wedding is abroad and in a popular destination smack bang in the middle of the summer holidays. This means that DH and I each need to use 4 days worth of annual leave and all in all it will probably cost us at least £1000 just to attend.

The straw that broke the camels back was last night when DH told me that even though the wedding is on a Thursday, we need to make sure that we are there on the Monday as his friend now wants ANOTHER stag do when we arrive at the destination of the wedding. For this, DH will go out and I will be left alone in a foreign hotel room basically waiting for him to come back, plus it means more expensive / inconvenient flight times to get there in time for stag night number 3!

DH agrees that he asking a bit much, but just keeps saying it’s his wedding and there’s nothing he can do because he is best man and has to attend everything. I just feel like if I was MOH and the Bride was behaving like his friend is, I would politely draw the line somewhere and I am getting frustrated at DH for putting this above everything else. It is worth adding that we are going to start trying for a baby, so when a lot of these shenanigans are going on I may well (hopefully) be pregnant.

Am I being unreasonable to be getting irritated at all this? Sense check please ladies!

OP posts:
LemonTT · 21/11/2018 10:32

Shatner has more or less said it all. But your DH needs to tell the groom that if he wants a decent stag, he should stick to just one. Most people will only go to one, so he making damn sure he has three shit ones instead of a really good one.

As best man he should take the stand and say he will only be at uk based one and then attend for the wedding only. But you do know your DH is encouraging all this nonsense.

Advice to you, set a budget for what you are willing to spend on attending weddings. Not what you can afford (you should be saving if tic) but what you are willing to spend. Give him that to work with.

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