Venting - ignore me

[Letthepastgo]

Back story - complicated marriage breakdown. Lots of reasons

One was he was breaking the cycle. His parents had been in a loveless marriage. Chronic resentment from the mum as the dad didn’t pull his weight with the kids. The dad upset as his mum (her MIL) wasn’t allowed to look after the kids.

He couldn’t fix it as a child growing up.
So he recreates the situation in his own life.
And then leaves. “Breaking the cycle”

Except he only created the situation in his head. There was a lot that was different (I didn’t resent him but love him) and regarding childcare too. But it is almost like he HAD to see it in black and white terms to recreate the situation.

It’s frustrating.
Just needed to get this down.
Don’t really know what else I expect from posting.
His family ARE dysfunctional. Maybe just to get that out.

Hrm...you should go for one of those pamper spa day thingies. My secretary raves about how awesome they are. Take a friend and indulge in a bottle of wine. Make a weekend of it. Sometimes you just need a break from the misery of everyday life.

It's sad isn't it Letthepast. To be hurt by someone who seems to be guided by something beyond their control, and to see it break their heart as well and for them to lose so much for seemingly no reason at all. But we can't protect people from the paths they have to take, and perhaps this is his journey (I know, I know, bleugh....) - but perhaps it really is. Sometimes you have to live the lessons to learn them, and this has been his.

So what's yours? This story in your life was seemingly beyond your control, but I guess you'll have to look at it to see what it means to you, who you were in all of this, and to take it forward and to make something of it.

It is sad though. FWIW I've been both your exh and you in this regard, playing out the stories of either mine or someone else's past.