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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Coffee and a catch up with an ex

31 replies

moolady1977 · 20/11/2018 22:24

I've been with my dp for 16 months things are great we live together and I wouldn't change anything about him, his ex wife cheated on him with a so-called friend and it took him a long time to get over it.
I have been chatting online to an ex of mine from over 20 years ago who has asked if I fancy meeting for coffee and a catch up, this ex and I just drifted apart we became more like friends so called it a day.
My dp has no issues with me having male friends or going out with them for drinks. I really want to meet up and see how life has treat him but this is an ex and I don't want my dp to feel like I'm doing something behind his back I just don't know how to word it properly that I'm meeting for a coffee

OP posts:

Alicatz66 · 21/11/2018 16:32

I wouldn't go .. not worth the hassle !

theworldistoosmall · 21/11/2018 16:39

I met an ex from years ago earlier this year. We'd been chatting online and over the phone/texts for a few years. I still talk to his family etc.
It was really good to meet up in person. The only reason it took us so long to meet was that we live in opposite ends of the country and he rarely comes down.

BlancheM · 21/11/2018 17:57

Such bullshit if you justify it using the 'I'm allowed male friends' line. He isn't your friend. He's someone you've for some reason reconnected with after a very long time. Be wise and let sleeping dogs lie or be upfront about it.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 02/12/2018 21:41

I met up with an ex from 20 years ago recently. I told DH but didn’t want to bring him because I thought would have been very dull for DH to sit there while we talked about people and events from 20 years ago. I think it’s fine to go but weird to lie ab

fuddle · 04/12/2018 16:14

You are being insensitive to your new partner. He's an ex there's no need to meet up really is there? What is the purpose of it really it's pointless I'm sure you have lots of friends you could meet up with.

nemosparents · 04/12/2018 16:19

I think if you're even questioning it maybe part of you knows it's not right? Ex from 2 years or 20 you still have history and even though you say you ended up as friends you still were in a relationship. It would break my heart if my partner did this, behind my back or if he was honest about it.

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