How to stay strong?

[Sarah2302]

How do you stay strong when your partner/husband knows all your weakness and uses them against you all the time. I have posted a couple of threads about leaving my H who is (well the lovely people on here have told me) abusive.

I just want to be free of him physically but most importantly mentally, how do I break the chain, stop him having control of my brain. He is still living in the house we joint own and he is so manipulating, I want to stop him having an effect on my emotions so it doesn’t matter if he is here or not until he decides that there is nothing here for him.

It's very difficult. What I found helped, was anytime my exh said anything that was manipulating to me, I'd look him in the eyes and say absolutely nothing. Worked a treat. And don't show that it's upsetting you - easier said than done.

I can make it look like it’s not upsetting me but inside it is! Like right now I can hear him telling his sister on the phone about how hard he works and how he wakes up early and I do nothing. I know it’s not true but when you keep hearing things you doubt yourself. Why do I care if he makes me out to be the bad one and him the victim?! I have to keep carrying this burden of ending the relationship, he can’t see what he has done to me.

It's very difficult to switch off, but it's the only way, and the more you do it, the better it will become. It took me months.